YAY! The day has finally arrived! I'm going to Penticton to attend the Wine Festival! So, so, so excited. Janet is excited too. She called me last night and gave me hell for being out because I am supposed to be saving my energy for her and tonight! Can't wait!!! Oh just so everyone knows it's also another VERY important day today! It's Rapheal's BIRTHDAY! Happy Birthday Raph!

What kind of a moron engineer decided to spring load the door to a fucking oven! Picture this. Keith get's home after a lovely date with Dan at the Vancouver Art Gallery where there was an awesome exhibit of Emily Carr's works. Keith decides upon returning home that he wants Pizza. As he is getting ready to place the Pizza into the oven the door to the oven snaps back knockiing the Pizza. The Pizza falls onto the door and scatters a myriad of toppings both all over the floor as well as the bottom of the oven, where of course they catch fire! Now Keith is sitting in the apartment waiting for the Pizza to be ready while he smells burning olives. He actually had to go over and blow out the flaming olives that were on the bottom of the oven. Oh and Dan had to go home early tonight and I won't likely see him for over a week as I'm heading home Saturday until Thursday. So frusterated. Want Pizza.

The weather has turned. Yesterday morning I awoke to a grey day which by the time I was driving home had turned into a torrential downpour. I believe the weather has had an effect on me. I am so tired now that it's hard to comprehend. My mood has been on a steady decline as well in the past few days. I'm feeling more melancholic and slightly depressed as well. I believe that stress may be causing this but I also think there may be a little more at play. I hope to get things figured out really soon though. I'm glad that I'm heading home this weekend. With all of the change that I've gone through in the past month it'll be really good to go home and see that things really havn't changed all that much in the grand scheme of things

Tomorrow Dan and I have planned a date to the Vancouver Art Gallery. I'm looking forward to going as there is currently an exhibit by Emily Carr that I believe will be really good. I am a big fan of Emily Carr and her work. I'm also really looking forward to seeing Dan again. Talking on the phone just isn't enough.

Today it was brought to my attention again that I am coming across as arrogant and cocky. Damn it I hate that about me. I have no intention of coming across that way and personally can't stand people that do... Maybe I just can't handle the reflection of myself. I seriously need to figure out how to change the things that I am doing that lead to people interpreting me this way. Fore-front of mind from now on is where I need to keep this so that I can begin to make some changes. I wonder if there are any books on how to change peoples perceptions.

Talking to my parents I'm not sure what's going on for Thanksgiving. Janet has invited herself over for dinner at least one of the nights that I'm home though so I'm happy. I miss that girl tons. Can't wait to see her this weekend. I'm also glad to hear that my Sister is going to be home for a while. Unfortunately the way the schedules work though it sounds like I may only see her for a couple of hours before she leaves. Hopefully I'll be able to see her for a bit though.

The weather here has been absolutely stunning for well over a week now. Today is no exception. What am I doing with this amazing weather though? Well today Lexi and I walked up the hill to have breakfast at Sophie's (one of my new favorite restaurants for breakfast) and then we stumbled home and both of us went to our respective beds. Totally exhausted from the festivities of last night. After planning it for weeks we finally made it out of the apartment on a Saturday night! Instead of staying at our Apartment we made our way across the bridge into Yaletown and went to Marcie's apartment! Oh did I mention that the three of us (me, Lexi & her friend from Kelowna) were already hammered by the time we hit the door to wait for our cab to take us to Marcie's. By 8 everyone at Marcie's was dancing in the living room. Of course the original intention was to dance at the bar but... Whatever. So after a good while of dancing at the house we finally ended up hittin the street and going to Skybar. I'd love to say that Skybar was an amazing place and that the decor was incredible and everyone was beautiful but I honestly don't remember. Our group danced the night away though and I do remember the music was excellent. Actually I'm still feeling the effects of the dancing today. Everything is sore.

The partying really has to come to an end though. It's starting to get both WAY to expensive and I just need to start doing other things. One more weekend and then I'm wrapping it up. Of course this weekend is going to be a total gong show. It's the Penticton Grand Finale Consumer Wine Tasting for the Okanagan Valley Wine Festival! That and we're going to be celebrating Janet's birthday. Wow is it gonna be a time!

In other news Sister has been having a very traumatic time in Calgary. Our cousin that she was living with turned out to be a total little bastard. He spontaneously decided one night that he no longer wanted a room-mate and told her to move out. Just like that! Then he left to go back home to his Mommy and Daddy's house for the weekend. Didn't talk to her or anything. Thankfully she was able to call some of the other relatives we have in town and they got her moved into one of my Great Aunt and Uncles houses. The little shit head will be pretty surprised when he comes home and finds that she's gone. Serves him right. Just thinking about this makes me want to get violent.

Moving on.

I have the best room-mate in the world. Her friend told us this morning that we sound like a married couple.

Dan and I have been getting a little closer lately and we've moved to a place that is a little more than seeing each other. I'm still not completely sure where that is but it's someplace new anyway.

I've caught a cold. I'm not thrilled with the idea but that's what's happend. Starting tomorrow I have two days off. Thank God! So tired.

Ok, Janet has informed me that my blog has been making me sound like I'm miserable lately. I'm so sorry that's totally not the message I should be conveying. I'm seriously very, very happy here. True I have been having a bit of a tough time at work lately but I actually found out that it's because the guy who was assigned to be my mentor is a fucking ass hole who is threatened by me. I have talked to my coach, who happens to be his boss, and things are going to change in the store. I think that most of the problem seems to be that I view him as a resource for help when I need it. He seems to view me as an extra peon that he can boss around. Funny enough though cause I actually have a higher position than he does in the store and I'm obviously smarter than he is. Ok I'm done now, that's all I'm going to write about my job right now.

I just got home from a date with Dan. I really seriously like this guy and he seems to seriously like me too. Funny thing happened tonight. As we were walking downtown it seems that Dan is scared of homeless people (don't ask). So we're walking up the street and we go to pass this homeless guy and he gets a little to close to Dan so he grabs my hand. I of course start talking to the homeless guy and say "How are you doing?" He answers "well my foot hurts." To which I answer "Oh, that's too bad" and carry on because I assume the conversation is over. Assumed wrong. Homeless dude laughs at us and yells down the street "when are you to gonna get married?" To which I reply "not for a long time." So of course homeless dude yells at the top of his lungs "WELL NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!" OMG how hysterical is that? I was just killing myself laughing. So damned funny. I told Dan later that I should have told him that we're not going to get married because we don't believe in inter-racial marriages (Dan's East Indian)! Either way this was a great end to a great evening.

I'm drunk. Very rough day. Very drunlk

GFoood night.

Just got home from dropping Dan off. He came out for dinner tonight with Lexi and I, then we came back to our place for Martini's. Marcie of course came over and we had a fantastic time. Dan and I left the girls and went up to check out the view from our roof top patio which he was completely sure was awesome. Earlier when we were on our way to pick up Marcie he had asked if we could go to the beach again so after the patio we went down to Kit's beach. The evening was excellent and I will be seeing more of Dan. Tomorrow it's off to Marcie's for dinner. I hope she makes her amazing salad!

Wow last night's post was dramatic. Sorry about that, but thanks to Stuffy and Raph for writing in their support. I got to the store this morning and was excited to be there. I love what I'm doing as much as there are some aspects of it that I don't like there are more things that I like than anything else. I'm actually glad that I started to think about the things I thought about last night though. Having these thoughts early into this stuff actually really helps. I really am starting to understand that I've got to put the time in now. Actually this isn't a big deal because what the hell do I have to do otherwise?

Today was Marcie and I's very first Pilates class. All I can say is I'm not so sure about this Pilates stuff. It's very hard work which was a bit of a surprise honestly but it was actually fairly enjoyable. I realized that if I was doing it a couple of times a week that my abs would be amazing! Too bad it's so bloody expensive as well the fact that I don't have time to do anymore classes. A good experience anyway.

Tomorrow Dan, Lexi and I are going out for dinner and then watching a movie at our place. It should be a good time.

Oh, oh, oh I bought a vacuum cleaner tonight! How exciting is that! How lame am I for being excited about that! It doesn't matter, now Lexi will stop being irritated by the fact that we don't have a vacuum cleaner. I bought a 12amp Panasonic bagless. Of course it was on sale, with a $20 mail in rebate and my company discount on top of all that so I got a great deal! How exciting a vacuum that really sucks. OMG I'm getting way to old if I'm excited about a vacuum.

Well I had a reality check today that wasn't too pleasant. It has become glaringly apparent that I am going to have to start spending more than the current 9.5 hours a day at work from now on. The work load in my department along with the extra courses that are expected of me as well as the extra responsibilities that are expected are not going to happen if I leave when I'm "supposed" to everyday. I'm seriously thinking tonight about whether this company really is the place for me. If the company expects me to work that much for so little pay then why in hell don't I just quit and go start my own company. The potential that this is all just part of a learning curve is foremost in my mind as well but I'm not sure if the situation will ever change. Argh! I'm just so frustrated with things right now. If this is really what life is supposed to be all about then I'm not sure that I like it all that much.

I love going into the store everyday and I enjoy the work that I'm doing for the most part but at the same time I desire a level of balance between the two that I'm not really sure exists. It's entirely plausible that for the rest of the training program I'll be working my ass off and that as soon as the program is done I'll continue doing that. It's really a good thing that I don't have a family or anything because I don't know how people with families do this. Balance... how to achieve balance. That is the question of the evening.

After Lexi practically tossed me out of the apartment tonight saying "Get off the computer and go hang out with him!" I ended up spending an interesting evening discussing the validity of Theology as an Academic study along with numerous other topics with new boy (I'll call him The Russian). And here I thought I wouldn't be talking about Christian Theology much anymore since I left Prairie... guess I was wrong. In fact the whole conversation was odd and I kept thinking to myself "What the hell!" Ironic that I finally make a more visible break from the church and then I end up defending Christian Theological concepts in a 24 hour Vegetarian restaurant till 1 in the morning with my gay date.

So yes in the past week I have managed to meet and date two new guys. Both are very nice and both have interesting qualities. The Russian is very cerebral and likes to prove to that he's right. At one point tonight I stopped him just for clarification on his thought process. "Do you actually think that I'm that dumb that you need to break everything down into rudimentary concepts?!" I asked him. After which he apologized and said no that wasn't his intention. I thanked him and assured him that I was in fact not that dumb then proceeded to deconstruct him on a personal level. I was actually really quite fascinated that he would allow me to go where I did tonight in the level of deconstructing his mind.

He told me that he had, had a very good time because he wasn't used to having someone to talk to that could debate and discuss topics with at a higher level. Well I don't really know how high that level actually was but... whatever. Actually I rather enjoyed the evening as well as I was reminded of many evenings with Raphael where we would sit, drink tea and discuss.

Both of my dates in the past two days have gone well but I heard the exact same comment from both gentlemen. "You have a wall around you!" The Russian actually went as far as to say it was almost physical. "You don't let people get close to you, do you" he asked. It's really weird because tonight I think that I was actually conciously building that wall and I'm not even sure why. I must be afraid of getting to close to these people. Perhaps if I let that wall down I might fall in love (what a horrifying thought). Perhaps why I build that wall is because I don't want to get mentally and emotionally taken for a ride. I'm going to have to think on this.

I do seem to be making friends easily right now though. Both guys seem to enjoy being in my company and suggest new things to do a lot. One (who I've just decided to call Dan) calls me everyday just to chat. Actually Saturday night is was almost annoying after the 8th time he called me. Apparently he thinks of me when drunk... how flattering.

I have to laugh at Lexi the girl is getting more pushy everyday on how I should be interacting with the boi's. I gotta love her. Tonight I made her eat shrimp for the first time and I think she has to admit that it wasn't all that bad! Don't you Lexi?!

Today is my day off. So far I am making good use of it by sleeping in, enjoying a leisurely shower, and will soon be putting in a load of wash before I go and do a small big of shopping for some groceries and such. As one of my new friends would say it's going to be a very chill day.

Well I just got home from a reasonably interesting day. First off last night was fairly interesting as I spent most of the night drinking Martini's eating chocolate cake and chatting with a fairly interseting guy. It was fairly late by the time that I went to bed. Knowing that I had to work today I should have went to bed earlier but... well I didn't.

All was good this morining though because the store didn't open until 12 so I was good with having to work today. I waltsed into the store around 11 and I was in an insanely good mood. With all that's been going on in the past few weeks I was honestly surprised at myself and how gosh darn happy I was. I actually managed to get a reasonable amount of things accomplished today because the Manager who used to occupy my desk finally came down and cleaned out all the crap that she'd left leaving me with all these empty drawers to fill with my own crap. Nice because I was able to go through the paper littering the top of my desk and I found a lot of things that needed delt with. After work I drove one of my co-workers home and went to meet a boy downtown.

I met said boy on the internet a while ago and have been chatting with him on the phone quite a lot. I actually met him a week ago now and he's great. Really funny guy. I enjoy spending time with him because he's funny but he's very much not my type. Actually I think that he's my polar oposite. He's all emotion and spunk. The perkiest little guy I've ever met. Anyway I had a good time with him tonight.

Tomorrow I'm not going into work. Seeing as I pretty much got screwed over today with having to work I've decided that I'm taking the day off tomorrow. Planning on going for a long walk with a new friend as well as.

Just got back from a run with Lexi. She warned me this morning that when I got home from work we were going for a run. I should have stayed at work... no it actually wasn't that bad and now I feel pretty darn good. Much better than when I got home from work earlier. Again today was very overwhelming. I get this call first thing in the morning and my Mentor tells me "Oh by the way I have someone coming in for an interview with you at 11." Excuse me... I've never conducted an interview before. How am I supposed to know what to do. So he came down and conducted the interview while I watched. I had better get used to doing them though as I've got to find and hire approximately 10 more staff members in the next month. Anyone who wants to work for me just let me know!

I got home from work tonight to be greeted by Lexi saying "We need to talk!" Apparently she had read last night's entry and was very upset with me for holding in my feelings. I'm sorry Honey but that's just the way I am. That's why this blog has been so good for me because I can actually vent my feelings and frusterations without worrying about whatever it is that I worry about. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Lexi! The girl is awesome.

Work today turned out to be reasonable. The review with the Hun from head office went well. Turns out she was more interested in destroying a couple of cosmetics counters than she was in coming after me. That and my Executives had pretty much nailed everything down so that she really didn't have anything to come after me for. Those lady's are great. I wouldn't ever cross them or purposely make them angry at me though.

After work all of the store Management went to my office mate's (I share an office) house where we all proceeded to drink a lot. Had an excellent time. Excellent stress reliever. Well now I have to go to bed because I work tomorrow. Good night and thank you all for your concern. Love you!

The stress I have been under for the past few days is just incredible. I'm having trouble sleeping, my muscles are tight, my skin is going to hell, and I feel anxious most of the time. The feeling of wanting to cry occurs frequently. All of this is directly related to work and the current environment in my store.

The fact that I am a Sales Manager for the first time in my life and of a poorly performing department that is supposed to see a 25% increase during my time there contributes greatly to my stress. The additional fact that I feel as though I was thrown to the wolves by my managers doesn't help. Things are getting a little better though and I have been receiving more direction from the store Executives in recent days. Today was mostly spent preparing for a store visit from one of the Regional Managers. Thing is that most of the time Sales Managers don't directly report to this Regional Manager but because of the special nature of my current position with the company the Store Executives decided that it would be good for me to present my poorly performing business to her tomorrow. The fact that I inherited this business only a week ago and have yet to completely understand what's going on in it doesn't seem to matter. The Executives feel that I can do it. I'm actually thrilled that they think I am capable but at the same time the stress level I am under is staggering. The expectation for excellent performance is both my own and that of the Executives and I don't want to let either down. Thank God for Vitamin B pills and their calming effect.

Mom called me tonight. All went reasonably well during our conversation until she asked me if I was praying about the situation at work. "We can't do it on our own you know!" When I answered with a grunt I immediately knew I was in for trouble. I received a couple minute lecture and then was told that she would be praying for me. I really don't know of anything worse that she could have said. Of course I realize she prays for me, and Sister, everyday and that is comforting but when she specifically tells me that I shouldn't turn my back on God and that she will pray for me it pierces my heart. How on earth do I tell her that I don't want to give a rats ass anymore. How do I tell her that the years I spent trying to be someone else were a waste and that they were the most unhappy of my life. She knows it... but does she? How can she possibly understand what I've gone through? I really don't believe she can.

I really don't want to consciously turn my back on God but there are aspects of my life that just don't mesh with the theology that I believe in. I cannot even accept myself and what I am so why would God. I know He's there and I believe that he is directing my life but I don't know for what purpose. By walking the road I am walking am I walking out of His direction or is He still directing me towards some ultimate place. Am I just a peon that doesn't matter, will I make a change in the world? Will I ever have the answers to these angonizing questions. Can I change my thinking to be more in line with cultural and religious norms? Do I want to? What does that look like? Could I be alone forever...

So tonight I go off to bed in a sad state of mind. How do I bring how I was raised and what I am together into one symbiotic place inside of me? What is good and valuable in each and what needs to be discarded. How do I go on?

Tiring day. Tomorrow's looking to be just as tiring. Cosmetics & Jewellery gala at work. Going to be a late night.

Lexi and I decided that we would walk to Starbucks tonight. Not all that much of a feat as it's only two blocks down the street. We got coffee's, drank them at the sidewalk table and chairs and watched the people go by, then we walked across the street and found a log to sit on. We chatted about random things and watched the ocean and the lights of the city. It was cool.

On the way home we walked past a small market where they sell flowers. As is seeming to become my custom I bought some. Actually I only bought a very small bunch of flowers but I bought a huge bunch of eucalyptus! I arranged them both in a the juice jug we are using as a vase (for some reason neither of us owns a vase) and they look beautiful. The eucalyptus smells amazing! I honestly think that eucalyptus and sandalwood are two of my favourite smells.

I really miss Sister. I am planning on flying her out to visit me either before Christmas or in February. Finances permitting of course.

Thank heavens it's my day off tomorrow. From the sounds of it Lexi and I are going to go shopping for some random cool things for the apartment. We're going to go to Caban, The Bay, Ikea, and a few other assorted places. It will be a fun day.

We put up my pictures the other day and I have to say they look amazing. We put my large Audrey Hepburn up in the dining room, my Money print is in the living room, and the amazing piece of Audrey my Sister did for me is hanging in the hall of my room. My pictures and Lexi's furniture go together like we planned it. It's just amazing to me that our taste in just about everything is so similar. I'm very lucky.

Ugh, what a day. At work I was suddenly overwhelmed. I met with my Supervisor and she went over some the of expectations they have for me in the next couple of months. After she was finished I told her that I was going to go and cry for a while. She thought I was joking. I swear if I was capable of tears I would have cried. There isn't anything that they are asking me to do that is out of the ordinary or anything but seeing it all there in black and white in front of me was somewhat staggering. I've got to learn to stop and take a step back when I'm at work and breath. Today for a second day in a row I forgot to eat. I just had so much going on that I didn't stop for the entire shift. I realize the importance of learning how to step back now because it's only going to get worse.

After I fled the store this evening I walked out to my car and found that my passenger side rear tire had gone completely flat. Seems that this morning I had run over a massive piece of re-bar what decided to puncture the tire. Thank God that I wasn't crossing the Port Mann Bridge or something. Of course I called road side assistance and it took about 40 mins for the guy to get there. I was trying so hard to be nice to him because I was in such a dramatic mood. Blood sugar had been dropping steadily for hours and I wasn't sure if I was going to cry or go off on someone by the time I finally got back to the house. Things were so bad that I actually went and had McDonalds for dinner! Now of course I feel sick.

I have taken two Vitamin B pills in the past bit and I'm counting on that to help calm me down. Lexi is sitting here waiting for me to finish this up so that we can go out and walk around, maybe grab a coffee. We had discussed going out to a gay club tonight so we'll see where the evening takes us... The way my life is careening lately I don't have a clue.

Last night was very enjoyable. Lexi and I had deciding earlier in the day that we weren't going to do anything all that exciting that night. So we didn't. I came home from work around 6ish and we made Taco's which were SO delicious. Then I invited Rita to come over after she was finished work at the Dog sitting place she works at. Then of course I had to invite Marcie because what's an envening in Vancouver without Marcie. Essentially the evening consisted of sitting around in our dinning room drinking Martini's and visiting. After a while Brandon, Lexi's new boyfriend, came over and mercifully he brought us two bags of Doritoes. So the evening got even classier. Imagine the five of us sitting around, Marcie and I in jogging pants, drinking Martini's and eating Doritoes. Come to think of it switch the Martini's for beer and we'd have fit right in, in a trailer court!

WOW! What a day! I'm in my new store and it really feels like coming home. All that high end merchandise. I'm so happy to be there. My new position is Department Head of jewelry! I have 23 Associates reporting directly to me and I'm just a little overwhelmed by it at the moment. I proved to myself today thought that I am a fairly decent salesman. With absolutely no product knowledge or anything other than my innate ability to BS I managed to sell 4 watches (true I needed some help from the Associates on specific details such as warranties and such but the majority of the effort was on my own).

After a very busy day at the store I got into the back seat of my car and changed my shirt. Then I climbed into the front seat, surprising the people in the car next to me a little, and drove down to the downtown Sheraton where Marcie's company was throwing a gala. Gala is industry speak for "We'll buy you some wine, appetizer and a couple gifts while you sit and watch a fashion show of the new fall lines!" To say the least I loved it. Right up my alley. Perhaps the best part was the schmoozing potential. Most of the top executives from my company were there and I got to meet a lot of our vendors as well. You never know where your going to need connections!

Well tomorrow is going to be another busy day so off to bed I go.

Well one last day before I start work again. I'm completely exhausted now though. Today I'm taking it really easy. Pam is coming over to hang out for a while and I think we'll go to Kitsilano Beach, which happens to be across the street from my place.

To tell the truth I'm actually somewhat depressed today. Just not feeling up to par. I think it's because I'm tired and so much change has happened recently. I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things.

Yesterday was a fairly good day. Spent the majority with Marcie and we went to Zellers! Rather odd because we went from walking through a high end mall looking at $400 pairs of boots and $250 pairs of Sunglasses to looking for deals on cleaning supplies. Funny how things change as you get older and get responsibility takes over.

After an exhausting day yesterday I slept in until 10 this morning. It was a really nice feeling. Now I'm sitting here in my apartment trying to figure out exactly what I need to do today. I think the first thing I'll do is go and get a few groceries. After having eaten out almost everynight for the past week I'm getting to that panicy place where you realize your spending WAY to much money. Unfortunatly there really wasn't all that much I could do about it.

Today the weather in Vancouver is amazing. I'm very excited to go out and explore my neighbourhood this afternoon and then take a drive up to my new store so that I know how to get there.

In regards to my apartment, we've come across an interseting problem. The place is too damned big. We actually don't have enough furniture to make it feel like home. Strange situation actually. The place is airy and bright even though it's on the ground floor. True we have bars on the windows and a land lady who we call the warden but for now it's a wonderful home.

Well I've gotta get going and go grocery shopping.

Yeah, so I'm back in Kelowna for a moment getting all my stuff together for the move tomorrow.

Yesterday I wanted to start drinking at 10AM. It's been a rough week! I walked into Marcie and Franks place last night to find a party already underway! I immediately joined in. The evening peaked really early which meant that everyone was in bed by 1 which was good for me as I had the drive this morning. To make up for the fact that we didn't go out dancing though roommate and Marcie are ensuring we go out on Sunday! Good thing its a long weekend and I don't start work until Wednesday.

As I'm sitting here writing this I just finished packing up my room and moving everything to the garage to help make things easier for tomorrow. All that is left in my room here in Kelowna is my bed, which I will be sleeping in tonight. I really have mixed feelings about leaving Kelowna. Retrospectively I have had a huge year of personal growth this year and it's left me in an interesting place. I'm somewhat sad about leaving this city, it's been good to me.

Thoughts at this moment on moving to Vancouver are as such. I'm totally excited but I'm slightly apprehensive as well. Not only is this going to be a new city it's pretty much going to be a new lifestyle for me as well. Talking to room-mate today in the car (she was nice enough to come with me so that I didn't have to bring the rental truck back and pick up my car) I told her that I wasn't really all that sure what I was supposed to do now... I'm out and have accepted that but now what? Only time will tell.

On Friday in our class room session we watched a video entitled "Who Moved My Cheese?" this is honestly one of the most impressive little inspirational thingy's I've ever seen. The one thing that I got out of it... or at least that impacted me the most was the question

What Would You Do If You Weren't Scared?

Even thought I wouldn't have been in the place to honestly answer that question a long time ago I wish I would have been asked it.

Oh just remembered on the drive up Room-mate requested that her new alias be Lexi. So world I introduce to you my room-mate Lexi! She's awesome and we're going to have a HELL of a good time together. She's a self-professed partier and I know my life won't be quite the same as long as she's around.

Have a Good Night! Good Bye Kelowna you've been good to me.

Thank God that it's Thursday. What a week. Today class was focused on conflict. The day was fairly long and involved but at the same time I think that I learned quite a lot. I have been hearing a lot of "I don't really feel like I know you!" from many random people. I'm not entirely sure what these people are looking for because it's not like we're good friends or anything... just random acquaintances from work.

Talking with Pam today she told me that I need to stop being mean. When I think about why I am mean to people I have to think that it's a result of defense mechanisms I've been building up for years. I really think that I'm going to have to work on this even more now. I don't want people to think that I'm mean.

Here's a Euro update. Nothing. I don't really know why this bothers me but it really does. I'm certainly not infatuated with this guy or anything but I am somewhat hurt that even though his mouth says he wants to get to know me his actions clearly show he doesn't. People like that arn't worth my time... so why am I bothered by this?

Yay I'm in Vancouver! I'm not really feeling like a Vancouverite yet though because I'm currently a guest at Marcie and Franks. As usual Marcie is outdoing herself making amazing food and providing amazing wine to go with it.

Today class was long but it was also good. It was good to see my counterparts again and hear how they're final weeks of phase 1 went.

One of the assignments for class was to start and keep a journal. Thank God I'm already ahead on that one. Today we learned about our Managerial style and I learned that I utilize the Coercive style of leadership. Basically the definition is "Do what I say NOW!" Big revelation there.

It's been a busy day and I'm really tired. I'm hoping that tonight is an early night because I think I'm going to crash really soon. I miss my friends in Kelowna.

Where do I start? I've just finished off another successful day of partying. Friday was amazing. The day started off in Vernon because I ended up staying there after I went out for dinner with Sister. It's finally starting to sink in that I'm leaving tomorrow so I decided that I had better give Grandma a call and see if she was available for breakfast. Happily she was so I booted it down to the Vernon Timmy's and we sat and chatted for a while. I just love Grandma and I'm so happy that she's happy that I'm going to Vancouver. It really makes me feel good that the family is happy for me.

Later on that morning I went and picked up the newlywed, whom henceforth I have decided to call Raphael, as we had planned on spending the day together. First place we went was to my store where the Associates were having a BBQ and as I can't resist free food I had to be there! So we showed up at the BBQ and it turned out to be somewhat of a going away party for Pam and I. I was touched it was so nice. They gave us each a lovely gift basket with wine, cheese and other assorted goodies, a poster that has a picture of a chip and the caption "I think therefore I am over qualified to work here!", and they got a huge cake for everyone. After I had hugged what seemed like all 90 of my 'work Mom's' Raphael and I took off. Of course the natural thing to do would have been to go to my house and pack but we decided that we'd go to the Mall and visit Janet first.

The visit with Janet was short and sweet. So after we did that I decided that I should go into my old store and say good-bye to everyone there and let them know the location of my new store in Vancouver. After we finally walked out of there Raphael said it's like a KS love tour! So naturally after that we went back to my house and started packing... well not quite. Because we happened to be on that side of the bridge we decided that we would be remiss if we didn't go to a few of the local wineries. We stopped by St. Hubertus and tasted a few of their wines (the Chadonney is awful). Then we went to cedar Creek, sat on the patio and lingered over a glass each while enjoying the view and the company.

Leaving cedar Creek we headed in the general direction of my house but wouldn't you know it the car had other ideas and this is how we ended up at my FAVORITE winery Quail's Gate! Strangely enough the floor manager who was serving always remembers me and this led to her opening up and letting us taste a few of the Family Reserve Wines which start at $35 a bottle. Of course they were amazing and we really enjoyed the experience. The wines tasted we decided that we should get a bottle to take home with us.

Finally arriving at my house it was agreed upon that there was no point in packing anything as it was pretty much all packed anyway so we raided the aforementioned gift basket for cheese and crackers popped the cork on the wine and sat around the living room eating a drinking. Needless to say Raphael was highly enjoying himself by the time that it was time to go to the restaurant.

We arrived at The Greek House in Winfield shortly after 730 and the entire situation was just crazy. Janet had gone to a staff party prior to my picking her up and was already having a pretty good time. Of course by the time we ordered wine for dinner it was just wild. I think we may have scared one of my friends, who had never met any of the rest of the group, just a little bit. She insisted that everything was fine though and that she was having a wonderful time.

After the restaurant we made our way over the Tim and Lisa's house where I broke out the Fire Ball Whiskey that I had bought earlier that day. Turns out that Matthew is a fan! I'm not sure if it was the combination of the heavy food, wine, and then the fireball but I wasn't feeling all that hot for a while. Thankfully the feeling passed and by the time that Janet and I were dropped off at the bar everything was good to go.

For various reasons Janet and I were the only ones that Actually made it too the bar. We had a pretty good time dancing and left at 140. Walked home to her place and went to bed. All in all an awesome, very long, day!

Today I'm just getting random things taken care of, seeing a few final people, and having the oil on my car changed. Very exciting. Oh well Janet is dragging me out to the bar again tonight... We'll see how that goes.

What a fucking Dramatic day! First of all I though I ended up in bed last night well before 11 I decided that I would read last week's Saturday National Post (a wee obsession of mine) it was 1 before I put the sucker down. Which ment that this morning when I accidentally turned off my alarm at 730 and woke up at ten to 9 I was freaking out because I was to be at work in 10 mins. Well I am happy to say that I made it to work only ten mins late.

At work Pam told me that she has been asked if I was gay pretty much since we started working there. FUCK YOU ALL! Is all I have to say. Why is that something that anyone needs to know? I think part of what upset me the most is that no one has actually asked me! Just pisses me off like you have no idea that people I don't know and who mean nothing to me feel like they have to know something so intimate about me. God damn.

So then I went for supper with Sister and whoa! As expected way more drama. Of course she is entitled to this as this was pretty much a huge shock for her. Not so much the actual fact of my inherent gayness but moreso that I hadn't told her before this and that she was one of the last to know. I am so sorry that I kept it from her long before this. I feel so bad about all of this.

Thank God only a few more days before Vancouver.

Yay I'm not going out tonight! What a strange concept. Tomorrow seems to be another start of an action packed couple of days. Tomorrow is my last day at work! I'm really excited because it means I'm just that many days closer to being in Vancouver. I'm actually really going to miss the people at my store. As much as I laugh at them and their slightly low class ways they are an incredibly supportive group and have taught me more than I imagined. Pam and I have ordered 6 dozen doughnuts from Timmy's for tomorrow and we're going to use the restaurants coffee urn so that we can show our appreciation for everything. I'm looking forward to it.

Tomorrow night I'm going out for dinner with Sister. It's our last night that we can spend any time alone together before we both move. I'm honestly not sure when I'll see her again which makes me sad. I have to tell her about me tomorrow because I want to be able to tell her about things that are going on in my life. I'm slightly apprehensive about this mostly because I'm scared she's going to be mad at me for not telling her earlier.

Well now I suppose I should go off to bed... even I don't believe that.

Hi I'm back. So anyway got things straigtened out with Euro and I'm pretty excited about the outcome (I'm not elaborating on this point because I know for a fact that it drives one of my readers absolutely mad!).

Just spent an awesome evening with the newlyweds before they head back to Holland. Excellent food, conversation, and just all around fun. I miss them already. I hope they move to Vancouver while I'm still there. Ok, I'm tired good night.

I'm not feeling well. Possibly because last night I, yet again, didn't get to bed until after 12! This time I was actually all ready for bed and everything but then I decided that I had better call Euro to get some things straightened out. Well we ended up talking for over an hour and I finally had to tell him "I have to go!" Oops, I have to go now.

Sometimes some people just creep me out. Eeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Thank God it's Monday! The weekend was awesome and amazing and I'm going to be recovering for a while. Saturday night I spent with Marcie and Frank at Marcie's family in Kelowna's house. They fed me dinner after work then filled me with wine and dessert! How much more wonderful can these two possibly be?!! Sunday after work I drove home to my parents house in Vernon and had desert with my newly married best friends and other assorted family members. I ended up staying over because I knew that the drive home would be nasty if I didn't. This morning I drove straight from work and can actually admit that I found the drive rather enjoyable.

Five days until I go to Vancouver! Currently I'm planning on leaving Sunday morning with my stuff for a week, I'll be staying at Marcie and Franks which is SO nice of them but it's gonna be REAL tight! Their place is like 795 sq. ft. three people and an 85lb dog! It's a good thing that we'll be at work all day and that I've got a few other places to go and people to see in the evening.

Tomorrow the newlyweds are planning on coming up to Kelowna for a visit. I'm really looking forward to spending some time with them. Not really sure where we're going to go though.

Oh I have decided that I'm going to have a going away party of sorts on Friday. It's going to be an eclectic mix of people that I've invited. All of my good friends from forever, school, church, and the internet will be there. It's a good thing they are all sociable people! Never have to worry about a dull moment with my group!

Tonight I'm taking it easy... Which basically means that I'm going to do some wash, go for coffee with Peter and then come home and go to bed. Looking forward to it.

I just literally spent the past 12 hours partying! I think that even Janet was surprised at the lengths her company went to for this staff party.

First I guess I should update about the events of last night. Got to Penticton to find Euro already pretty smashed. Met his brother and some other friends that I actually had met before as well as his friend that we had hung out with the first time we met. Thank god she was there. Of course as is my style I ended up hanging out with three absolutely gorgeous women for the entire night. Euro was otherwise occupied, but I had fun anyway. So anyway the night started out at a pub on the lakeshore and moved to Elements nightclub. Had a good time dancing and hanging out with the girls in general.

This morning I woke up at 7:30AM and cursed at myself for being such an idiot and not going to bed earlier the night before. Then I had a shower and as I was wandering around the house in a daze I had a few conversations with my house mates... that I don't remember now in the slightest. I know that I didn't make any sense because I was told I wasn't making any sense. I then rushed out the door in search of a double shot latte. I raced up to my store and dropped off Euro's keys, which he unfortunately had to drive up and get, got my latte then I raced off to city park for the 9 o'clock start of the party. At the park I was handed a large Tim Horton's double, double which finally got my brain started again. By 10 o'clock we were doing jello shooters! Yes, in the park! When I enquired about the legality of doing such a thing I was told that we had obtained special permission from the city! I was quite obviously stunned... so I had another.

By the time the catered boxed lunches arrived we were all feeling pretty good and were raring for the boat to arrive. At about 1ish the boat finally arrived and we loaded the $300 worth of alcohol on and off we went. We cruised around, swam and drank the afternoon away. We went back to shore to pick up some late arrivals and then continued with the previous activities until 8:30 when the alcohol supply's ran out. The boat was quickly driven to Rose's (one of Kelowna's waterfront pubs) and much more alcohol was obtained. At this point I was completely ready to get off this crazy boat and come home to bed so when the opportunity arose I hopped off the boat and came home. Of course the rest of the boat is still going hard at it right now and were planning on going to the boss's house to continue the party into the wee hours. Apparently the boss has a great supply of alcohol that needs to be finished TONIGHT! Overall today has been wicked. The people were awesome, the events were fun, the food was great and I just had a great time in general.

Tomorrow I work until 7 and then I'm going out with Marcie and Frank who are in town visiting from Vancouver. I think it's gonna be another REALLY long day.

Talking to Sister tonight I realized that if we don't see each other before next Sunday that'll be it. I likely won't see her again until Christmas as she's leaving for Calgary and I'm leaving for Vancouver. We're going to try and arrange something for this week. God there is so much to do this week and so many people to see that I'm just not sure how I'm going to pull it off. I guess the important things will get done in due time.

Dear Lord, just got home from the boi's birthday. Realized I have his car keys! Oh my. Not going to be pretty tomorrow when I am supposed to be at city park for Janets party at 9! Yeesh.

Why do I do this to myself. I'm running ragged. Things are going well but man am I tired. Last night after work I went and watched Janet's soccer game then went out for coffee with Peter and Janet. Had a great time chatting. Janet was in rare form which was very entertaining.

This morning I barely felt like I was gonna make it out of bed and tonight I am driving down to Penticton to celebrate Euro's birthday which is likely to be very late and possibly quite drunk. Tomorrow morning I'm going to Janet's staff party day. Apparently her company goes ALL OUT for their staff parties, the day starts at 9AM and doesn't look to be over before at least 1AM, the day involves a houseboat, catered meal, open bar, and a really big house party after the whole thing is done! I'm gonna make it I swear!

And of course as I have tons of plans for this weekend wouldn't you know it I work! Fabulous baby, just fabulous.

I JUST REALIZED THAT I ONLY HAVE 11 MORE DAYS BEFORE I MOVE TO VANCOUVER!!!!!! So much to do and so many people to see before that time! I'm starting to think about panicking.

Well I'm back! Home that is. Thank God. The weekend was SO busy and I'm SO tired now it's incredible. I drove straight home from Edmonton today, we left Leduc around 7 this morning and I arrived in Kelowna about 4 this afternoon. The traffic was extremely heavy the entire trip but due to my killer stereo and the a/c I had an enjoyable trip.

Both weddings this weekend were awesome in their own way. The Saturday wedding was absolutely beautiful. It was held at an acreage a friend of the Bride owned. The wedding party had spend about two months cultivating flower beds and getting the yard ready for the event and it was worth it. The Bride was absolutely stunning in her traditional white gown and the rest of the party was perfectly attired as well. As far as formal weddings go this one was perfect. Personally I accomplished all that I set out to at this wedding as well.

The Sunday wedding, that of two very important people to me, was perfect in it's way as well. The best way I can describe it is ordered chaos. Which if you know the happy couple makes perfect sense. I am very happy for them and they know they have all of my support and love. I can't wait to see them again when they come to the Valley at the end of the week.

I'm starting to get more and more excited about the move to Vancouver! I have been talking to Julie and we are getting very excited about the whole process. It's gonna be great! We are all STILL waiting to hear which stores we will be placed in but should be hearing by this week hopefully.

Well I'm off to Edmonton! Yay! Weddings... The trip is actually looking to be quite a lot of fun even though it's going to tire me out completely. Could take a while to recover from this one. Anyways I will be seeing many of you over the course of this weekend and I CAN'T WAIT! Have a Great Day and see you soon!

Ciao Baby!

I'm trying to pack for the weekend. Stupid casual weddings! What the hell do you wear for a casual wedding. The gamut could range from business casual to khaki's and a golf shirt, to t-shirt and shorts. Argh! Then there's the weather to consider, as it's in Edmonton you don't know if your gonna get summer or winter conditions. STUPID CASUAL WEDDING!

Today was my day off. I used it very productively. I went to Vernon and got my hair streaked again... it's REAL blonde now! It's funny but I realized that I'm really very vain and quite selfish. With the wedding weekend coming up I have been really into my appearance. Sad but true. The Sunday wedding I'm not all that worried about but for some reason the Saturday wedding has me thinking thoughts like... "I have got to make sure that all those people I went to school in Alberta with know that I'm doing SO much better than they are!" I have to look better than them, appear more sucessful, and just be wittyer, funnier, and more popular in general. What is wrong with me. Am I really this shallow? And why is it that it's this wedding in particular that I feel I have to put on this show for?

The Sunday wedding I'm just looking forward to in general.

Tonight I spent the evening with Janet. We're both sad that we only have about two and a half weeks left within which to spend time together. I'm really going to miss that girl. I don't know if I would have made it this year without her. Time moves on though and good friends remain good friends for a long time. She told me tonight that I'm going to be the MC at her wedding! I'm completely relieved that, that doesn't look to be happening anytime soon.

What a night. Unexpected as it turned out to be. After closing the store tonight I went to Jesse's house. She's going to be leaving on Sunday and I won't be able to see her off because of the soon to be infamous wedding weekend. I'm really sad that I won't be able to go out to Gotcha's with her one last time!

I had previously decided that I needed to talk with Janet about my announcement of a couple of days ago. So we both left Jesse's house at 10. As I'm sitting talking to Janet the phone rings and of course it's my friend Laura from the Island. She had just read my blog as well... it gets better. After her call Jesse calls back and says that I forgot my glasses and that she needs to talk to me! Oye. After a good talk with Janet I head back to Jesse's house where she sits me down and beats around the bush until I tell her "Yes!" at which point she freaks out and gets very excited. Then she invites me to girls night... not amused. So three in one night. This coming out thing is getting easier all the time! Now I really have to go to bed because I'm getting my hair done in Vernon tomorrow.

Oh story from work for the day. I'm standing talking with the store Service Manager when the owner of the spa approaches us. She makes some small talk then get's to the point that she obviously came for. "I'm going to embarrass you" she announces. Fabulous I think. "Is your hair naturally curly?" She asks. After I respond in the affirmative she proceeds to tell me "my 16 year old Grand daughter was in here with me yesterday and she thinks your hot!" OMG! I turned the colour of a tomato... I perfectly matched my shirt.

Have a good night!

What to write... last night was a blast. OH OH OH! I think we got a place in Vancouver! It's in Kitsilano and it's two blocks from the beach! I haven't actually seen the place but Julie and Marcie both assure me that it is a good place. The best part so far is the location and that I have secure underground parking. So happy to have that off of my mind. Now if only I would be told if I'm working downtown or in Richmond. That would really make my life a hell of a lot easier.

Right now it looks like I'll be staying with Marcie and Frank for the first week of September until I can move in, as I have to work and our place won't be ready to move into until the 1st which is like a Wednesday or something stupid like that. So that's where the apartment saga is at. All we're waiting for now is for the landlady to check references and then get back to us.

I woke up with a headache today and decided that I was going to have as low profile a day as I possibly could. I semi-succeeded. I decided that I would go downtown Kelowna and have a pita at The Pita Pit for lunch, as I had no food in the house, then that I would go to the Bean Scene for a coffee and read Off-Center. This is exactly what I did. Upon arriving at the Bean Scene I noticed that I had a free coffee left on my card and realizing that I was not likely to be going for coffee there much more I used it. I then decided that while I was downtown I should get my hair cut as I want to look my best for the weddings this coming weekend. So I wandered around town a little bit, got my hair cut, then called my friends Justin and Jolene. They told me that I should come up to their place and hang out so I did. Then I decided that I needed to go to Costco and as they live very near we piled into my car and off we went. I bought my years supply of vitamins, we had Pizza then went back to their place where they decided we should do some shots. We did shots. Then we had ceasars. Then we had some sort of alcoholic Dutch drink that tasted like caramel pudding with alcohol in it. Then I stopped. They proceeded to have Margarita's and shots of Fireball that I had thoughtfully bought for Justins birthday on Sunday.
Overall it was a good day.

Tomorrow is Jesse's going away party. Our good friend from school Christin is driving up from the Island to come to the party and she's going to be staying at my house overnight. I'm anticipating a really fun evening. Then Sunday is the aforementioned Justin's birthday party. Why does everything happen the weekends that I work?

An entirely satisfying day at work today. I've finally been given some responsibility and have been able to rise to the occasion. I'm really hoping that I will be able to make enough of an impact in the next three weeks at the store that it'll look good for me.

Tomorrow is my day off, thank heavens, and I'm looking forward to doing just about nothing. I don't know if that's actually going to happen or not but I'm looking forward to it none-the-less.

There is a moth beating itself to death on my ceiling... good night.

Rain! Finally, the rain has come. Personally I've been waiting for three days as ominous black clouds hovered overhead. It was just killing me, my car was excessively dirty but I didn't want to wash it because I knew the minute that I did a torrential downpour was assured. So just this one time I was able to plan for the weather.

This weekend is Jesse's going away party. From the sounds of it she has actually rented an entire campground on the westside of Kelowna! The potential is that it's going to be a HUGE party. Unfortunately I work the next morning so it's going to be rather tame, for me anyway. I absolutely cannot comprehend how it is that every weekend that I have to work all of my friends want to do something. When I'm off they're all busy! Totally irritating. I'm still trying to make the most of every opportunity before I move to the coast. With the wedding weekend approaching very fast everything kicks into high gear this weekend! Wheeeeeeee.....

There are times that I marvel at the human mind. Not because of the great and amazing things that it can accomplish, rather because of the stupid things that we humans do to feed some desire.

Well the Answer Man did it again. He explained to me that my issue of waking up extremely early after I drink is actually quite common. Apparently what happens is that the alcohol makes you sleepy and that's why you sleep so well after drinking it (duh). It's after your metabolism has cycled the alcohol out of your system that you wake up because your body is suddenly energized and on a high. And here I always thought it was the sugar in the alcohol kicking in!

Ahem... is this thing on? *tap, tap, tap* Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen. I'd like to welcome you all to K-Air please buckle your seat belts, ensure your seats are in the upright position, and above all please make sure you HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE! Today's destination is unknown with a brief stop for lunch at Tim Horton's.

Alright enough of that.

So anyone who is a consistent reader of my blog will likely notice somewhat of an unwritten theme. Many of my posts refer to issues and things that I love that would be consistent with issues and things that gay men love (i.e.- Cher!). Well there's a reason for that and if you read yesterdays post it'll become crystal clear. That's really all I feel about writing about this topic on here now. If any of you have any questions or anything I would love to chat... you know how to get a hold of me.

Yesterday turned out to be great! Well it was pretty darn funny anyway. Starting from the top. I got a hold of Sister and told her that I would be coming up to Vernon and that I wanted to go swimming. She told me she would meet me at her best friend Patricia's house as they live on Okanagan lake. I decided on my way into town that Vodka and Coke seemed like a good idea so I stopped on the way in and grabbed a two-six of Vodka Vanilla Twist. Got to Patricia's house and we made ourselves a couple of drinks. Patricia had failed to mention to me that she had not eaten that day and as I make drinks strong she proceeded to get completely trashed! Then her family came home... with like 900 relatives in tow! Ah Patricia I'll be laughing about this for a REAL long time.

After I left Patricia's house I went over to the Answer Man's house where MATTHEW HAD ARRIVED! Yay! I was absolutely thrilled to see him. It's been almost a year. We proceeded to hop in the car and head directly to the beach. Some habits die hard. After we swam around for a while we went and picked up some groceries for dinner. We enjoyed a leisurely dinner with the most excellent company of the Answer Man. Just like old times.

Seriously the Answer Man's house is one of my favourite places to be on earth. I just love being there. There is always something fantastic to talk / argue about, excellent company, beautiful views, and just a sense of peace in that house that you don't find just anywhere. I'm eternally thankful for his and his family's friendship.

Of course because of the amount of alcohol that was in my system yesterday (we had a bottle of wine with dinner as well as a bottle of dessert wine) I proceeded to wake up this morning at 4:45AM! Why! So now I'm sitting here thinking about going and taking a shower and wondering when my Mom is going to get up so that she can talk to me none-stop until I leave the house and go to the lake again. The day is shaping up to be amazing. Let's get at 'er!

Yesterday I thought that I was supposed to be at work. So I go in at 9 as I usually would and work for a number of hours. Near hour 6 my Manager, who happens to be on holidays, came in and saw me there. "What are you doing here?" He asks. Well of course I'm like "well as I took Friday off I thought I should come in today." He just looked at me and said I didn't expect you to come in, you weren't scheduled... So I left!

I'm so excited. I'm just beside myself. I went out on a spontaneous date last night and it was just fantastic. Euro, the date, and I met online... yes perhaps there was a reason for my anxiety about online people a couple of posts ago. We have been chatting back and forth a little bit in the past while and finally we decided to meet. Because he lives about an hour and a half away from me I offered to go to him. So I drove down to visit with him. We ended up driving up to Penticton, kinda circuitous actually, and hanging out with one of his friends for a while. She was awesome and I hope I get to know her better. Anyways we left Penticton and went back to his town where he showed me around a little then we went to this amazing lookout, that seemed as though it was a million miles up, overlooking the town and lake. We sat and talked, well he talked (he was rather verbose), for a very long time. As I was driving home the sun was rising! But so far the absolute best part is that he's moving to Vancouver in a couple of weeks! I believe we'll actually be living in the same area of town and everything!

Toady I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. I'd like to hang out with Sister but I haven't heard from her yet. I'm actually thinking of heading up to Vernon overnight. All my friends seem to be busy again so I've got very little to do. My friend Matthew is supposed to be showing up in Vernon sometime this weekend. He's been living in Taiwan for the past year so I am SO STOKED to see him again. Yes I think I'll go to Vernon.

I'm back... and it's hot. Really hot. Well maybe not as hot as it could be but it's definitely hot. So Vancouver was quite enjoyable overall. One of my fellow trainee's is getting more obnoxious by the day though. He's turned into a name dropper. Anytime he meets anyone high up in the company he starts to drop that persons name into just about any conversation. For example - "May I take your order Sir?" "Yes I'll have the Caesar Salad, did I mention that I was telling Andrew Jackson just the other day that Caesar Salad is one of my favourite meals!" After about hmmm, two hours of this I wanted to just plow the guy. After four days of it I was really ready to kill him. Thankfully I'm not alone in this and Thank God that I won't end up working with him next phase of the program.

VANCOUVER HERE I COME! I found out that my next posting will either be in one of our stores in Richmond or Downtown Vancouver! I'm so happy about this. My friend (who I haven't decided on a name for yet) from school that is living down there right now is going to move in with me and we'll get a two bedroom apartment somewhere downtown. I am so stoked about this it's crazy. At first I wasn't wild about the idea of another room mate but once I saw the price of rent in downtown I reconsidered. That and I think that living with a girl will be pretty easy. I'm not willing to drop my standard of living just to live on my own.

I'm sure I'll write some more later but I'm thinking I should do some work right now. Lots of clean-up and reorganizing to do after the trip. Not to mention that my parents are making me pack up a bunch of books, that I have scattered around their house, for storage. Considering the fact that I'm at their house right now I don't really have the option of laughing it off.

Well I'm off to Vancouver.  Likely not going to be any new posts until Friday.  Have a Great Week!

Wow!  That's all I have to say.  The concert was sensational aside from the fact that half of the songs were from the 60's and I had no idea they were Cher songs!  I think the production was the biggest yet to have hit K-town.  There were 6 semi-tractor trailers and 7 Busses involved.  The stage had two elevators and a platform that descended from the ceiling.  The whole thing was very Cher, over the top and fabulous.

After Cher, Jesse and I went dancing at the club.  Had a good time.  It was nice to just go dancing and not get loaded.  I dropped Jesse off at her place relatively early and then I went to another club.  One I had never been to but I knew some friends were going to be there so I decided to stop by.  I was there for about 15 mins... Decided it seriously sucked and was making my way to the door when the door opened and a classmate from school that I didn't particularly want to see walked in.  She saw me and kept pestering me as to what I was doing there.  I blew her off and pushed my friend out the door.  There is possibly going to be repercussions from this...

I'm wondering tonight if people that you meet online and chat with frequently are to be considered friends.  If you've never met them in the real world and then you eventually do would you consider them a friend and would you introduce them as such.  How do you introduce net people to your friends.  When they ask you how you know such and such what should you say?  Normally I would be straight up about this type of thing but lately I have found myself lying occasionally.  Because of where I meet net people I am quite reluctant to share how I met them.

It's Cher day!  Yay!  So excited.

I'm frusterated.  Somewhat upset.  Why me!

I'm ramping myself up for the weekend.  This is going to be an extremely busy one I believe.  I work late tonight, which means 'till 9 then Janet and I may go and see Catwoman!  We're both so excited about this movie, I hope it's good.  The I work early tomorrow which means 9 again.  Then I am going straight from work home where I'll get changed then go to Janet's park my car and walk over to see CHER!  I can't even describe the feeling of excitement I've got right now.  After Cher I'm going dancing with Jesse and maybe Janet as well as the possibility of an assortment of others.  If I don't go to Catwoman tonight then we're going to a matinee on Sunday with Peter and Dave.  Then I hope on a plane for Vancouver.  I'll be in Vancouver until Thursday when we come home.  I'm looking forward to seeing Marcie and my friend Tiffany from school, who's living down there now.

Now I have to go and practice a presentation that I have to give for the store executives today.  I'm slightly nervous about this presentation as it is on a 'store problem' that I have diagnosed and have to offer suggestions as to how to fix it.  Usually this wouldn't be a problem but the only way to fix the problem is to get a new person who actually knows what they are doing to do the job that is being incorrectly done now.  Of course this person is going to be sitting there listening to my presentation.  Which means I now have two endings to my presentation... One for Kelowna, one for Vancouver.

Ah two mildly interesting / funny events happend today at work.  The first one was just plain funny.  I was putting out some stock in one of the departments near mens underwear.  As I'm working I hear the voices of a bunch of young boys.  They were saying things like... we'll need two teams.  Just grab a bunch of underwear...  Ok, ready go!  On hearing the last one I was also privileged to hear the sound of bags of underwear being thrown.  I quickly went around the corner and saw five young boys (about 10 or 11) happily throwing bags of underwear at each other!  I almost laughed cause it was funny but then remembered I'd probably have to pick it up.  I yelled at them and they all froze!  Bags of underwear dropping from beneath their arms and falling threw the air.  Three of them had the sense to scatter but I caught two of them.  I proceeded to make them pick up all of the underwear and put it back in its rightful home.  I then escorted them out the front doors and told them not to come back in without their Mothers!  I then started to laugh.  Imagine an underwear fight!  Who thinks of that.  Just awesome.  I should have told them that if they were going to pull shit like that to go to Wal-Mart...  Oh well next time.

The second mildly funny thing happend during coffee break when our kitchen manager asked me if I had gotten my hair permed!  After I denied that I had had a perm she proceeded to bitch to me that I was SO lucky and that she wanted my hair...  Still smiling about that.

Three days to Cher!

Finally after what seemed like an endless drive I am home on the Westside again.  I was in Vernon this afternoon for a Dentist appointment and then went to an event called Aria Extravaganza.  Essentially Aria Extravaganza was an event to support the singing school my sister has been attending this past year.  The event was held in a local restaurant and as we ate we were serenaded by a number of professional Opera singers that had been brought in to teach for a week of singing camp.  It's interesting actually when I was living at home and would put on an Opera CD I would get hassled so badly that I would usually just go turn the music off.  Now my parents are going to every performance and dragging there at times unwilling friends along with them.  Funny how parental pride can change tastes...

Just got back from Spider Man 2.  Unlike most sequels for movies this one is really good.  I actually think that it's better than the first one.  Not that I really remember much about the first one.
 
Today at work one of the funniest things happened.  I was re-arranging a bunch of stock on a shelf when I heard yelling... about five seconds later the yelling got louder and as I stood looking towards the main isle a young handicapped (is that the politically correct term?) guy went racing at full speed down the main aisle of the store.  I was momentarily stunned.  About 10 seconds on his tail his Mother / Caregiver went racing down the aisle after him yelling his name and stop at the top of her lungs.  I was almost rolling on the floor laughing by this time.  Seriously the kid was having the time of his life!  Great to see someone enjoy shopping that much!
 
J came over for dinner.  Had a great visit with her before I went to the movie.  We are planning a night out on Saturday after my Cher concert!  I CANNOT wait!

After a flaming hot weekend (highs of 37C) I'm now heading back to work.  My weekend off was interesting.  I ended up spending a bunch of time with my friend Peter's boyfriend Dave.  The whole experience was rather interesting and I can honestly say I wasn't planning on spending that much time with him but had a good time none-the-less.  Overall the weekend was too darn hot to do much more than sit in the house with the A/C on.
 
Janet got back from Merritt and she's now a golden colour.  Really strange actually the colour that her skin goes when she's had too much sun.  Overall I think she had a good time, I really missed her while she was gone.  Good practice for September.
 
I talked to my best friends yesterday, who are currently living in Holland.  They are coming home and are one of the weddings that I am attending on the weekend of August 14-15.  I'm very excited to see them again and can't wait to catch up. 
 
I also talked to my friend Nay in San Francisco.  She's been down there working with street people for the past... two years I think and I'm sure is going to be the next Mother Theresa.  The girl is amazing and anytime I need encouragement or just to be reminded of what's important in life I talk to her.  Last night was a difficult conversation for both of us (I think) because of an issue I'm dealing with.  Essentially at the end of the conversation she challenged me with "Who are you going to serve?" 

I don't even know what I'm writing here for right now.  Aside from the vague notion that writing is therapeutic.  I am lost.  Abandoned.  Disturbed.  When will I find what it is that I am looking for.  When will I know what the hell it is that I am looking for.  My mind is a messed up wandering place.  I pivot from one extreme to the other.  Religion, I believe I know the extremes of that.  I didn't find what I was looking for.  Maybe I went to far.  Is there such thing as balance in this life?  Isn't that the eternal question.  Are humans to know what balance is?  What is the next extreme?  Am I experiencing it?  I don't think so...
 
Pivoting, is that the word that adequately describes me?  At times like these I often feel as though I'm sitting.  Sitting in the middle of life with ripples emanating away from me.  Those ripples are the lives of others racing through time.  People grow up, go to school, move, meet people, travel, get jobs, get married...  I sit and watch it all go by.
 
Days go by and I wonder if I missed a whole period of my life that should have (could have?) been different.  I don't know if I regret any of the choices that I have made, because they have led me to the place that I am today, but at the same time I often wonder how things could have been different.  Would they have been better?  Am I trying to make up for lost time now?  The past few weeks have been almost a non-stop party.  Drinking, dancing, enjoying life in general.  Am I too old to be acting this way?  Does asking that question make me look silly?  Rhetorical questions all.
 
Why are some people who are so smart in life, so stupid in love?

It's hot here. Very hot. Yesterday was a high of 35 and it's causing me to feel sluggish. This weekend is shaping up to be a bit of a bore. Especially after the last two. Janet is in Merritt for the Mountain Music Festival, which is essentially a drunken orgy, and the majority of my other friends are off doing different things as well. I'm sure I'll be able to keep myself busy though.

Ah yes so this day got better and better. I went back to bed for two hours after work and then got up and washed my car before going back to work. At work I was in the stock room all day doing grunt work. Very boring. Then I was ready to leave and the store was shut down and the Manager in charge tells me that I have to wait until he and the computer guy leave. I'm their for an extra 40 mins. Not impressed. I have decided that I will likely leave early tomorrow.

I've been had! At work we've been expecting one of the company VP's for a couple of weeks now. He was supposed to be showing up this morning at 7, thing is he showed up yesterday. Now because yesterday was my day off and I work with a bunch of liars I was not told that he showed up yesterday. So this morning at 7 I was sitting in the store parking lot wondering where everyone was. I go into the store and find a note that says "Happy late April Fools!" What the fuck is a late April Fools! There is no damned such thing. I have to admit they got me really good. I'm not really sure how smart that was though because I work late tonight and can already tell that I'm going to be terribly mean by the end of the night. Guess they didn't think that one through. :) Don't get mad get even... if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to comment.

Dear Lord I was asked if I was Irish today! Not that there's anything wrong with that! So what to write about tonight. Work today was interesting. The number of hung-over women was rather entertaining. Seems that one of them invited a friend over after the party and ended up with 12 people sitting in her house. I was told that I HAVE to come back for the Christmas party because it's supposed to be an even bigger gong show. We'll have to see about that one.

Mercifully tomorrow is my day off. I'm going up to Vernon for a Dentist appointment and hopefully I'll be able to hang out with my sister a bit. I bought her a purple hippo pillow today at work. I was putting out some discontinued merchandise I found in the stock room and thought the pillow was adorable. The fact that it was cheap made up my mind. I mean what 21 year old girl doesn't want a stuffed purple pillow shaped like a hippo! :)

I just got back from our companies house boat cruise. I have to say it was unreal. Unreal in a surreal way actually. It's funny actually the branch of the company that I work for right now has a somewhat... How shall I say trashy reputation. Well tonight I fully understood why. All I have to say is put enough partiers, or any type, on a house boat, tell them they can bring their own liquor and ba da boom your gonna have an interesting night. One of our waitresses was so hammered everyone left her sitting on a pier at the yacht club. I'm sure tomorrow the club staff will have a good laugh at the X company employee they found sleeping off a massive hangover on the dock.

I took Janet with me tonight as protection. Thank God I did. It's official I have at least two fat chicks and at least one cougar after me at work. My manager put it into perspective tonight though when he was telling Janet that I'm one of 9 guys working in a store with 110 women! With those odds even I'm bound to have some admirers... So as far as I was concerned Janet and I were a going concern tonight. Ha! I hope they never find out the truth. One of the fat chicks is pretty damned brazen though. She was all over me the entire night and tells me that I now OWE her a Gotcha's night (Gotcha's is the club in town that I tend to go to). I'm terrified she'll make good on that threat.

One of the funnier parts of the night was when I was told that they all knew I was Management material when I was dancing with Annabelle. She insisted that I get up with her and swivel my hips. So what the hell was I gonna do, I had 60 people staring at me. May as well just get it over with. In retrospect it was the best thing to do because they all seem to believe that I'm one of them now and they can respect me for that. One of life's lessons learned.

I am so tired right now I can hardly type properly. The raging social life is coming to an end though. The girls all wanted me to come out to the bar tonight. Regretfully I had to turn them down.

I learned a lot tonight about leadership and management by example. Our store manager was there and the guy is just amazing. He works his ass off on the floor with the rest of the staff and treats them as equals. They all respect him tremendously and I honestly don't think that most of them would leave the company just because of him and his influence. Truly a great man that I am privileged to work with.

Hahaha I just read Tuesdays post. I'm an idiot.

Out of Control! That's my MSN Screen name right now. Why because I sort of feel that way. I believe that I have become almost unrecognizable from what and who I was even a year ago. I'm not the same guy I used to be. It's apparent to me by a lot of the choices I make and the way that I react to things now. Funny how much a year can change you.

I just got back from the bar with Janet; we both just wanted to go dancing no drinking tonight. When I got off work today I felt like going home and watching the ants climb the wall. I didn't even make it into the driveway when the phone rang and Janet told me that she got us on the VIP list to get into the bar tonight. So I had better hurry my ass up, drive to Vernon, join the pig roast that she was at (OMG the food was amazing) then we'd drive home in time for the bar! And I work tomorrow at 9. Oye.

To sum up the past few days Thursday I got home from work, went to Peter's house and got completely smashed with him then we went to the bar. Last night Janet and I went to the Evanesance concert, where she got a little smashed. And tomorrow after I work we're going on a houseboat party with the staff from my store, where I hear that they will all get smashed. When will this rageing social life come to an end. Probably once I completely collapse of exhaustion.

Wednesday night when I was sitting at The Cat's Meow (a trendy restaurant/club in town) with Janet and some friends she turned to me and told me that I needed to look at a picture of myself from a year ago. I did and I have admit that I don't even look like I used to. The change is subtle but it's definitely there. Most people tell me it's the weight loss, others the hair, others the way I dress. I think it's a combination of all of those things and the internal changes to my though processes. Essentially I've loosened up. It's gonna be a wild ride this summer. Big changes still ahead. Stay tuned for details!

Interesting seems my post from last night didn't upload. Damned. Will try again after work... if I don't go to a pig roast.

I'm back! Feeling great again. I really don't know what was wrong with me the last few days aside from a sneaking suspicion that I was just incredibly over-tired.

Today went really well. I had a very productive day at work and managed to get a lot of stock out of the stock room and out onto the floor. Our District Manager was in the store today for one of his monthly visits and of course he came over and talked to Pam and I. He was very concerned to know if we had any questions for him. I dunno what the heck am I gonna ask?

When I checked my messages today I had a pleasant surprise. I had a message from a Marketing Manager of a rather large British Columbia Marketing firm. Apparently my International Relations Professor from last term had given him my name as a potential employee. So this gentleman has a position in his International Marketing Department that he would like me to apply for!!! Wow, crazy opportunity. I'm going to call him back and see what the position entails and all but I think I'm pretty happy with X company now. Can't hurt but to look into it though.

Seeing as I went to bed at 10 last night and woke up feeling really good I think that I'm going to have a repeat performance tonight. Have a great night all!

This is my 150th post! Yay! So anyways I was just thinking about the fact that I usually come home on the days I work, play around on the internet for a while, maybe read a book, then go to bed... does this mean that I don't have a life?

I'm still not feeling on top of the world. Last night I fell asleep at 830 which was really very pleasant. I think the reason for the nausea and now the threat of a headache is because my back is out. Definitely going to have to get it adjusted soon. Hopefully Friday.

Today at work I marked things down for clearance. No one can believe how many mark downs there are currently. A full eight hours of marking things down isn't nearly as fun as one might think.

Interesting story from work today. One of the cashiers had two drunk teenagers come in and ask for help in the hair dye section. They then proceeded to try and pay for their purchases with a stolen credit card. Strangely enough the cashier didn't think to call the cops until I happened along and told her to! Very strange I would have thought the minute a credit card came up stolen that would be one of the first things most people would do.

My Mom and Grandma turned up at the store today. I haven't seen them both for a while so they seemed to be in the mood to embarrass me. To get my attention when she first walked into the store and saw me walking away from her my Mom put her fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly. Then as soon as I got close she latched on to my waist and hung on for dear life. Terribly embarrassing. Then before she left she insisted on meeting my Manager. Oye, that woman!

ok, I'm back. For some reason I feel like waxing eloquently about something. Thinking, thinking, thinking... I don't think that I've mentioned that Conrad is driving an ice cream truck as of late! He's doing it for a friend I think but he tells me the money is actually quite good! Yay Ice Cream!

Thinking some more... Nothing. I think I'm going to read for a while and go to bed REAL early.

I think my weekend finally caught up with me. At work today I was getting these waves of nausea that were just terrible. A few times talking with customers I had to excuse myself because I seriously thought I was going to vomit in front of them. Never did though. So after work I went and got some gravol and took two when I got home. Hopefully that'll make my stomach calm down.

I just got back from church where the message was on decision making. The three points if I remember them correctly were:

1. How will my decision affect my relationship with God?
2. What would my mentor do?
3. How will my decision affect my household (family/people who care about me)!

Messages like that really have a way of messing with me. The questions are all excellent and very much thought provoking. Considering I thought that I was sort of near making a pretty big decision. Why does life always throw these interesting curves at me?

What a fantastic day! The wine tour was great. Lisa and Tim were fantastic companions. We drove down to Oliver and went to all of the wineries that interested us there. We stopped and had a lunch of Ukrainian sausage, Dutch Gouda, Monterey Jack, freshly baked croissants (Lisa made them this morning!!!), and bottled water. We ate in a gazebo at one of the wineries.

I spent WAY to much money today. We actually came home with three boxes of wine and the winery is shipping me two bottles when it's ready. Not to mention the fact that we went out for a fairly extravagant meal. It's a bloody good thing I'm going back to work Monday.

So I met up with my Sister and some of her friends tonight at the local bar. She wanted me to come out so that I could meet her friends as they had come in from Toronto. While at the bar I was approached by a couple of young girls. They stood waving and smiling at me and finally when they noticed the look of extreme confusion on my face they yelled "were from !" "Right! You look so different out of uniform." They then happily told me that they were both underage! Wheeee.

Which brings up another topic. One of my sister's friends asked me how old I was and when I responded as I usually do now with "how old do you think I am" she said "well drinking age in BC is 19 right, so you've gotta be either 18 or 19!" Still not entirely sure what to think about that. Strange thing is that this has been happening a lot to me recently. Very weird.

A piece of trivia to end the night. Quails do fly! The Answer Man told me so.

Nothing to report. Oh well aside from the Lake is the perfect temperature.

Well I just spent a huge amount of money today. I picked up my Cher tickets, paid for a years insurance on mon auto, bought some car-washing supplies, filled the tank with gas, and ordered new arms for my Ray-bans. Whew even I'm in a little bit of spending shock over this one.

Now I just want to go and have a swim in the lake. Who can I call...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANADA! I LOVE YOU!

I ROCK! Yes, I'm modest too! There is so much to update that I think I'm going to go in reverse order starting with the latest happenings first.

I got back from my business trip to Vancouver this evening, it seems almost surreal that I would have business trips to Vancouver. To be honest I'm already at the point where I'm not excited about them. This week went well and I had a good time with the other trainee's but I think the fact that it's summer in the Okanagan led me to be a little more not happy to be away from home. Anyway the first three days of the week was focused on learning the financial metrics of my business, retail math, how to read a profit and loss sheet for a store etc. Incredibly dry and it would have been terribly boring had the presenters not been very well picked for both their knowledge and their sense of humour. Great guys who made a terribly boring subject palatable at least.

The fourth day (today) was spent watching 'us' trainee's presentations on the Product Lifecycle. I, of course, blew the presentation away. Again 'my humour' which I don't even try to put on wins all of the judges over and I get top marks everytime. I wasn't even given any constructive feedback on how I could improve. I am so great! Ok enough of my own inflated head.

After getting home from the airport I called Tim and Lisa to see what they were up to. They were going to be heading downtown to watch the Canada Day fireworks. I decided that I would join them and am glad that I did. I met my friend Peter at his work and he asked me if I wanted to go to Evanescence tomorrow as he had managed to get free tickets! Of course I'm going. Can't wait!

Moving on to my new home. I love it here. It's just incredible what a relief it is to not have to worry about whether or not my room-mate is going to be home. Living with Conrad and Barbara (no not Black, I wish) has so far been fantastic. They are exceptionally nice and allow me to do whatever I want (as they should). Conrad is an exceptionally cool guy and we actually seem to have many of the same interests. He started his career in retail years ago (he's no longer in retail) and has been able to give me such excellent advice as "Give ulcers don't get ulcers!" He was also kind enough to hook my computer up to his home network allowing me to have a blazing fast ADSL connection. Oh did I mention that I have access to a 300 channel satellite TV! Going from basic cable and a total dickhead to this has been unreal.

Last time I wrote I mentioned the new stock program at work. Well the launch didn't go so well and let's just say that I'm thrilled I was away for a week. When the system was powered up and put online for the first time it crashed, causing all of our tills, price scanners, etc to die. We were lucky in that we were able to operate our tills off of our backup system but the price scanners and a number of other important systems were down for a number of days causing no end of work and extra running for our service associates.

I went to a gay dance on Saturday night. I had fun.

Tomorrow I'm believe that I'm going to hit the beach as the weather here has been incredible. I also have to do some planning for my big wine tour with Tim and Lisa on Saturday. I CANNOT WAIT for this one. It's going to be so much damned fun. We're going to make a day of it. We're driving down to Oliver in the morning and then are going to be working our way slowly back for the rest of the day. We'll be taking a decadent picnic lunch and stopping at a five star seafood restaurant on the way home. It's a good thing that Tim isn't much of a drinker and seems to be amused by Lisa and I's antics. Tim will be driving.

I think that's enough for now.

Good Night!

I'm in Vancouver this week until Thursday so no posts until then. Have a Great Week.

So I'm packing all of my shit and getting ready to leave. I'm sad about leaving the physical place but can't wait to get away from my loser room-mate. All the best with your future as a drunken financial planner. It would be best that you didn't refer people to me for character references. Enough about that.

Today was a typical day at work. The company is going live with a new stock system tomorrow, so the past two days have been spent frantically trying to empty a million dollars worth of stock from the back and getting as much of it out on the floor as possible. That means that I'm rather sore today from all of the heavy lifting. Oh well it's good for the muscles right!

Tomorrow aside from moving I also have to put together a presentation on the product life cycle for work. Not that it's really going to be all that hard but it is aggravating to say the least that I have to get this all done tomorrow and then present it to my Store Manager Friday. Not a huge amount of time. It's a good thing I'm used to this type of thing from school.

Interesting thing about tomorrow. My Pastor has volunteered his services and his truck for at least a couple of hours tomorrow in order to get my bed and chest of drawers moved. Very nice of him. I think this is the first time that a member of the clergy has actually done anything that is remotely helpful for me! So far I don't see any strings attached but you never know...

Tonight I helped Janet move the new bed that she bought into her house. Talk about living simply the girl has slept on a Futon mattress on the floor for the past 9 months. I think that by committing to a bed she is actually planning on staying here in Kelowna for a long time. I know she'll be fine.

Mood: Irritable
Music: As I have packed up my CD's I do not have any music going at the present time.

Wow sorry that I haven't written for so long. Seems like an eternity. This weekend I spent in Vernon with the fam. Had a rather good time. It was nice and relaxing and also allowed me to catch up with both myself and some friends there. Saturday night was my older Uncle's 50th birthday. It was ok, I saw my cousins for the first time in years. They're fine.

So anyways after the party my sister and I went to meet up with some of her friends who were having a grad from the school they go to. I knew my childhood best friends girlfriend was grading from there but I didn't even think about the fact that I would likely run into him. I did. I was uncomfortable. He saw me and came running over and hugged me etc. etc. Then of course after marveling at how different I looked (all weekend I was told how different I looked by just about everyone who saw me, irritated my sister) insisted that I call him. Apparently I had been very bad for not calling him for the past two years. Apparently he doesn't have access to a phone that makes outgoing calls. After I escaped from him we went dancing at Vernon's only club. I felt like I was the oldest one there. Interesting experience none-the-less.

I forgot to mention that I got my hair streaked blonde Saturday morning. I really like it!

Sunday was Father's Day. We had A&W in the park and gave Dad some shirts that I'd bought for him a couple of months ago. Seems that now I work in retail my Sister has officially decided it's going to be my job to buy gifts from us for all occasions. Actually she'd done this years before I started working retail.

It's been extremely hot for the past week now. The temp has been over 30C for about a week now. Already the BC summer forest fires have started with a vengeance. Four water bombers from Ontario have already been sent and there are crews from every Province and even California here already. It's going to be a bad summer for fires. The town of Lilloette (one of my favourite places to spend a day or two) is already on high alert for evacuation.

Enough mindless babble. I've got to go to bed.

Music: Elton John's Greatest Hits (Current song - Daniel)
Mood: Rather happy!