Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Just think of all the Petro-Points!
On the travelling theme, I did my gas logs today for my truck (not including the driving I’ve done in the other trucks this month) and logged over 3,800kms in January… and it’s been a pretty slow month!
I've Been Everywhere Man, I've Been Everywhere!
Well I’m back from Edmonton via – Edson, Hinton, Jasper & Blue River. I have decided that Hinton is the town in Alberta that I hate the most. The place stinks and the people that I saw all seem to be some variation of inbreeding. That and the client there was a fucking ass-hole who made me sit around doing nothing for 3.5 hours because they were SO busy. Really weird because while I was sitting around in their waiting room it didn’t seem that busy to me!
Last night I spent the night in Blue River which seemed like a variation of hell. No cell, no cable, no internet!
Now I’m back at home and trying to get mentally prepared for my job interview tomorrow. It’s been a while since I’ve had a job interview so while I’m not nervous I hope I come across as the polished young gentleman I am.
Thursday I go to Vancouver overnight with my Dad and will be back sometime Friday night.
All in all a typical reasonably busy week.
Last night I spent the night in Blue River which seemed like a variation of hell. No cell, no cable, no internet!
Now I’m back at home and trying to get mentally prepared for my job interview tomorrow. It’s been a while since I’ve had a job interview so while I’m not nervous I hope I come across as the polished young gentleman I am.
Thursday I go to Vancouver overnight with my Dad and will be back sometime Friday night.
All in all a typical reasonably busy week.
Friday, January 27, 2006
I've been in Edmonton since Tuesday and have so far had a very plesant time with Raph and Wifey. Yesterday to kill time I hung out at The Mall for a couple hours and ended up finding a few good deals. I don't know how it happens but everytime I come to Edmonton I find awesome deals in the stores.
As both Raph and Wifey are working I've been entertaining myself for the most part. For tonight I have taken over responsibilities as gues chef for their weekly Friday feast... so I really hope it's good. Heck who am I kidding I'm a great cook!
Tuesday night as we were sitting around the table eating supper I was just struck with how surreal the whole situation was. Sitting in my best friends city apartment with his wife eating a typical weeknight meal that he had prepared. God are we growing up fast!
As both Raph and Wifey are working I've been entertaining myself for the most part. For tonight I have taken over responsibilities as gues chef for their weekly Friday feast... so I really hope it's good. Heck who am I kidding I'm a great cook!
Tuesday night as we were sitting around the table eating supper I was just struck with how surreal the whole situation was. Sitting in my best friends city apartment with his wife eating a typical weeknight meal that he had prepared. God are we growing up fast!
Monday, January 23, 2006
Go Conservative!
It’s finally over! We have a Conservative Government in Canada. I predict we’ll be at the polls again in 18 months.
Goin Campin' (?)
I talked to the friend I mentioned last post, the one that works for the hospitality company for remote camps, about the Assistant Manager’s position today. Over the course of the conversation and after discussing it with my Dad I have decided to send in my resume. She is actually going to the same camp and logically convinced me that it would be an excellent opportunity. The money isn’t quite as good as I mentioned last post but it’s still more money than I’ve ever made in my life, and is still more than most people make, and room and board are free! Not to mention that it’s only three weeks of work with every fourth week off and they’ll fly you to Edmonton, Vancouver, Calgary or Montreal as well as give you an extra $100 towards any extra travel from those locations. If the job is offered to me and I decide to take it, it’s likely that I’d be able to have my remaining debts paid off (including my car) within 6 months!
The position is Assistant Manager of a commissary and Tim Horton’s (I’m not sure how the Timmy’s works in there) and all training is included. My friend pointed out what I’ve already figured out… all companies down here want experienced people and there are just too many boomers running around to make it worth while to hire a young inexperienced person. If I get the position and it works out the experience alone would be invaluable and the money would be absolutely amazing.
I’ll be sure to keep ya’ll updated.
The position is Assistant Manager of a commissary and Tim Horton’s (I’m not sure how the Timmy’s works in there) and all training is included. My friend pointed out what I’ve already figured out… all companies down here want experienced people and there are just too many boomers running around to make it worth while to hire a young inexperienced person. If I get the position and it works out the experience alone would be invaluable and the money would be absolutely amazing.
I’ll be sure to keep ya’ll updated.
Friday, January 20, 2006
330AM
I don’t know why my body actually finds it painful to wake up at 300AM to be at work at 330AM but none-the-less it does. I’m sitting here at the mill working and the time on the computer clock reads 336AM (I’ll be posting this later so the times will not match). My neck muscles are really tight and my eyes feel scratchy. The eyes I can understand but the neck muscles? It’s strange how every grave yard shift I work this happens, must just be my body’s way of dealing with being up and working at such a weird time. I’m sitting here clutching my Tim Horton’s double-double and listening to upbeat music on the computer in a bid to keep my energy up (maybe if I can convince myself I’m actually in a club the time won’t bother me so much! Right…).
I guess the past week has been relatively hum-drum, but in a good way, as there really hasn’t been all that much to write about. Last weekend I had a bit of a meltdown on Saturday night as a result of state of my social life. After working all week alone in Castlegar I arrived home to an empty house, as my parents were in Saskatchewan, and nothing to do, with no one to do it with. At that point I decided the most rational thing to do would be to work on my business plan and drink a bottle of wine (probably not the best way of dealing with things but hey who are you to judge!). I ended up calling random people across the country. So I ended up talking to people in the three Western Provinces and spending about 4 hours on the phone. Not bad for a guy with a bottle of wine and a phone. I think that it’s really weird how the loneliness just came out and hit me. Part of the problem of course is the fact that being on the road makes it virtually impossible to meet people in town and all of my friends who actually are in town have families. Just another chapter in life.
I’m trying to look at the job situation in a positive way. I’ve been searching out jobs on the internet at companies that I would like to work for. I’ve decided that I’m not going to take just any job, just for the sake of getting a job. While it’s tempting to do just that I’m looking at my resume and realizing that it looks like I’ve been purposely job jumping for the past few years. I’m not sure if employers are considering the fact that last year alone I worked for three different companies a bad thing or not. Unfortunately I’m also thinking that most companies are looking for experienced people only. The problem is that they can get the experience because there are so many boomers running around. I really feel that it’s short sighted on the company’s part though to hire people that are going to be moving on really quickly though. There is something to be said for youth.
A friend of mine who works for a large Canadian food services company (they’re in charge of cafeterias in everything from logging camps to hospitals) called me the other night and told me about an Assistant Manager’s position in a camp somewhere that is 3 weeks in and 1 week out. Typically I wouldn’t even consider this because I hate not having a home base so much but the job starts around at around $80,000 and that does make it worth considering but I’m pretty sure that’s all I’ll be doing with it. If I ever did decide that I was going to do it I would tell myself that I would only do it for a year to make money. The problem with that, and I see it everyday in this job, is that you commit yourself to a year and then you end up getting far to used to the amount of money that your making and it gets really hard to go back and make a much lower salary after.
I seem to be waffling really bad on starting my own business to. There are times when I convince myself that I should just do it… after-all what do I really have to lose? Visiting Janet on Monday I went around with her as she gathered some lose threads for her business. Knowing that she’s doing it really seems to bother me because I know that if she can do it than there’s no reason that I can’t do it. I have to admit thought that it’s scary as hell to contemplate actually doing. Dreaming is one thing, doing is another entirely.
I had the pleasure last night of having dinner and visiting with friends at their home in Lac La Hach. I was actually friends with their daughter in Vernon when we were in high-school but have always kept in touch with them as well. Their story is one of true joy and hardship. They have been exceptionally poor and worth Millions (to the tune of 16 or so). Right now they are back to being exceptionally poor but talking with them you’d be hard pressed to see evidence of that in their mood and outlook. Telling them about Narcissus they were very encouraging reminding me that without taking a risk you’ll never know what could have been. When two people who have gone through as much as they have can look at life and tell you that without being bitter that’s a pretty big testament to their beliefs.
Well it’s now 500 only 9 more hours!
I guess the past week has been relatively hum-drum, but in a good way, as there really hasn’t been all that much to write about. Last weekend I had a bit of a meltdown on Saturday night as a result of state of my social life. After working all week alone in Castlegar I arrived home to an empty house, as my parents were in Saskatchewan, and nothing to do, with no one to do it with. At that point I decided the most rational thing to do would be to work on my business plan and drink a bottle of wine (probably not the best way of dealing with things but hey who are you to judge!). I ended up calling random people across the country. So I ended up talking to people in the three Western Provinces and spending about 4 hours on the phone. Not bad for a guy with a bottle of wine and a phone. I think that it’s really weird how the loneliness just came out and hit me. Part of the problem of course is the fact that being on the road makes it virtually impossible to meet people in town and all of my friends who actually are in town have families. Just another chapter in life.
I’m trying to look at the job situation in a positive way. I’ve been searching out jobs on the internet at companies that I would like to work for. I’ve decided that I’m not going to take just any job, just for the sake of getting a job. While it’s tempting to do just that I’m looking at my resume and realizing that it looks like I’ve been purposely job jumping for the past few years. I’m not sure if employers are considering the fact that last year alone I worked for three different companies a bad thing or not. Unfortunately I’m also thinking that most companies are looking for experienced people only. The problem is that they can get the experience because there are so many boomers running around. I really feel that it’s short sighted on the company’s part though to hire people that are going to be moving on really quickly though. There is something to be said for youth.
A friend of mine who works for a large Canadian food services company (they’re in charge of cafeterias in everything from logging camps to hospitals) called me the other night and told me about an Assistant Manager’s position in a camp somewhere that is 3 weeks in and 1 week out. Typically I wouldn’t even consider this because I hate not having a home base so much but the job starts around at around $80,000 and that does make it worth considering but I’m pretty sure that’s all I’ll be doing with it. If I ever did decide that I was going to do it I would tell myself that I would only do it for a year to make money. The problem with that, and I see it everyday in this job, is that you commit yourself to a year and then you end up getting far to used to the amount of money that your making and it gets really hard to go back and make a much lower salary after.
I seem to be waffling really bad on starting my own business to. There are times when I convince myself that I should just do it… after-all what do I really have to lose? Visiting Janet on Monday I went around with her as she gathered some lose threads for her business. Knowing that she’s doing it really seems to bother me because I know that if she can do it than there’s no reason that I can’t do it. I have to admit thought that it’s scary as hell to contemplate actually doing. Dreaming is one thing, doing is another entirely.
I had the pleasure last night of having dinner and visiting with friends at their home in Lac La Hach. I was actually friends with their daughter in Vernon when we were in high-school but have always kept in touch with them as well. Their story is one of true joy and hardship. They have been exceptionally poor and worth Millions (to the tune of 16 or so). Right now they are back to being exceptionally poor but talking with them you’d be hard pressed to see evidence of that in their mood and outlook. Telling them about Narcissus they were very encouraging reminding me that without taking a risk you’ll never know what could have been. When two people who have gone through as much as they have can look at life and tell you that without being bitter that’s a pretty big testament to their beliefs.
Well it’s now 500 only 9 more hours!
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
Down With The National Playlist!
Travelling as extensively as I do has given me what I like to think of as a unique perspective on the CBC. First off any of you who know me and have ever talked about this subject with me should well know that I really like most of the CBC’s programming. Previously the major exception has been Bill Richardson and his show The Roundup which is on sometime in the afternoon. I fucking HATE listening to that God damned Smarmy Richardson. Now I’m sure he’s really a very nice fellow but gimme a break and quick with the fucking voice! That and I do believe I have hated just about every fucking song that dumb bastard has ever played, and what the fuck is with the whole “Sadie the Sad Goat” thing! GOD! So on that note everytime I hear that oh so familiar entry music my hand automatically reaches over and turns the radio off. I’ve found that driving in complete silence is so much more preferable to listening to The Roundup.
What brought on this rant about the CBC? Well today after finally giving in and listening to almost a full show of The National Playlist I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve decided that there is much bitch slapping that is needed to go on at the CBC. Specifically Gian Gomeshi (sp?) and the National Playlist producers (his guests can generally be excused because they’re not the ones in charge of actually putting on this terrible show). Who was the fucking brilliant producer that decided that we need such a thing as The National Playlist? Didn’t it occur to them that people who listen to CBC generally listen because they want well informed programming on political and social issues that actually matter in this country? If I seriously wanted to know what some self-important intellectual was listening to and why they believe that it’s worthy of subjecting the entire country to then I’d just think back my High School days and try and remember what Raphael was listening to! Seriously more obscure, much loathed music could / should not be found anywhere on a Public Broadcaster! And Gian (sp?) you live in Calgary! Hardly the most happening place in the Canadian music scene! DOWN WITH THE NATIONAL PLAYLIST! Canada is a diverse country and I believe that people can choose what to listen to on their own. If they can’t then God forgive them for being so pathetic and may their entry Visa’s to South East Malizie Farm be granted that much quicker!
What brought on this rant about the CBC? Well today after finally giving in and listening to almost a full show of The National Playlist I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve decided that there is much bitch slapping that is needed to go on at the CBC. Specifically Gian Gomeshi (sp?) and the National Playlist producers (his guests can generally be excused because they’re not the ones in charge of actually putting on this terrible show). Who was the fucking brilliant producer that decided that we need such a thing as The National Playlist? Didn’t it occur to them that people who listen to CBC generally listen because they want well informed programming on political and social issues that actually matter in this country? If I seriously wanted to know what some self-important intellectual was listening to and why they believe that it’s worthy of subjecting the entire country to then I’d just think back my High School days and try and remember what Raphael was listening to! Seriously more obscure, much loathed music could / should not be found anywhere on a Public Broadcaster! And Gian (sp?) you live in Calgary! Hardly the most happening place in the Canadian music scene! DOWN WITH THE NATIONAL PLAYLIST! Canada is a diverse country and I believe that people can choose what to listen to on their own. If they can’t then God forgive them for being so pathetic and may their entry Visa’s to South East Malizie Farm be granted that much quicker!
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Castlegar (again!)
I spent the majority of the day today sitting in a coffee shop in Castlegar working on my Narcissus business plan. I think I made some pretty good progress and managed to get the marketing and promotions plan done. I’m up to nine pages on this thing now and everyone who I’ve shown it to have been pretty impressed. So far I haven’t had one person tell me they think that it’s not going to work. I really hope those people are just telling me they think it works so as not to hurt my feelings.
Boredom is NOT good for me. Old habits start to pop up and it’s just not good.
I’m looking forward to going to Edmonton in a couple of weeks time. It’s been arranged so that I’ll be able to spend the weekend and / or significant time with Raph and Wifey. Looking forward to it.
Boredom is NOT good for me. Old habits start to pop up and it’s just not good.
I’m looking forward to going to Edmonton in a couple of weeks time. It’s been arranged so that I’ll be able to spend the weekend and / or significant time with Raph and Wifey. Looking forward to it.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Ive had a revelation
I’ve had a revelation I dislike not being busy but I’m thinking back to my HBC days and life was SO stressful and frenzied and I was so miserable that I completely wore myself out. I need to find a medium between these two lives I’m living / lived.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Ping Pong
Went to Steve’s Ping Pong event tonight and I really tried to have a good time and actually did end up enjoying it. The event totally drove home how much I don’t ‘fit’ in that group though. All the guys there were either my Dad’s age or slightly older or were close to my age (within 10 years) and had wives and kids waiting for them at home. All great guys but I seriously didn’t fit.
I’m smiling as I write this because my typical response to this situation would be to dwell upon how unfair life was and how much things sucked but tonight I’m comfortable in the understanding that I’m right where I should be. For whatever reason I find myself here and you know what… it’s a reasonably good place to be. Slightly lonely at times but it’s important to remember that the only constant in life is change.
I’m smiling as I write this because my typical response to this situation would be to dwell upon how unfair life was and how much things sucked but tonight I’m comfortable in the understanding that I’m right where I should be. For whatever reason I find myself here and you know what… it’s a reasonably good place to be. Slightly lonely at times but it’s important to remember that the only constant in life is change.
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Its Saturday.
It’s one of those Saturdays where you really don’t want to do anything… and I haven’t. Well nothing productive or useful anyway.
Last night was our Staff ‘Holiday’ party at The Italian Kitchen and surprisingly it turned out to be really fun. I think it was the copious amounts of food and wine. Then as luck would have it Uncle P stopped in to visit Sister so he came and joined me at the table for a drink. After that we went to Monashee’s Vernon’s sort of most happening place and had a few drinks with some friends of his. The most interesting part of the night was when a former High School crush came over and started talking to me. I didn’t even know she was back in town as the last time that I’d ever seen her was a year out of High School and she was living in Victoria and taking Nursing. Turns out she’s a Nurse now at the Vernon Hospital.
I’m not sure if it’s a reaction to the alcohol from last night but I’m feeling kind of off today. Emotionally that is. Somewhat lonely and kind of depressed but not really lonely or depressed. Learning to be alone with myself has been a good thing for me to learn of late. I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to meet other guys my age in this town to hang out with who aren’t married or just plain losers but it’s really hard when I’m gone so much. I’m really feeling the emptiness of my social life lately. My friend Steve, one of my slightly older married friends, has organized a men’s night at my parents’ church tonight that I’m thinking of going to. I don’t really know if there’s any point because I’m expecting all the men to be my Dad’s age but I suppose getting out of the house and hanging out with other guys will be good for me whatever their age.
Last night was our Staff ‘Holiday’ party at The Italian Kitchen and surprisingly it turned out to be really fun. I think it was the copious amounts of food and wine. Then as luck would have it Uncle P stopped in to visit Sister so he came and joined me at the table for a drink. After that we went to Monashee’s Vernon’s sort of most happening place and had a few drinks with some friends of his. The most interesting part of the night was when a former High School crush came over and started talking to me. I didn’t even know she was back in town as the last time that I’d ever seen her was a year out of High School and she was living in Victoria and taking Nursing. Turns out she’s a Nurse now at the Vernon Hospital.
I’m not sure if it’s a reaction to the alcohol from last night but I’m feeling kind of off today. Emotionally that is. Somewhat lonely and kind of depressed but not really lonely or depressed. Learning to be alone with myself has been a good thing for me to learn of late. I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to meet other guys my age in this town to hang out with who aren’t married or just plain losers but it’s really hard when I’m gone so much. I’m really feeling the emptiness of my social life lately. My friend Steve, one of my slightly older married friends, has organized a men’s night at my parents’ church tonight that I’m thinking of going to. I don’t really know if there’s any point because I’m expecting all the men to be my Dad’s age but I suppose getting out of the house and hanging out with other guys will be good for me whatever their age.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Vancouver Via Sicamous
Well I just got home from an early morning jaunt to Sicamous and now I’m jetting off to Vancouver to pick up my truck. Unfortunately there is no time to visit as I pretty much get in my truck and drive home.
Past couple of days have been pretty darn good. Work started again and strangely enough I’m happy about that. I’ve started seriously looking for sales jobs in Kelowna and area and there have been some fairly intriguing positions advertised. I’ve started applying for some in the hopes of getting the hell away from doing this stupid go nowhere job I’m doing now (not that I’m not thankful for it).
The girl sent me an e-mail yesterday asking me “if there’s anything wrong” which I just can’t believe. I hate the fact that she’s pretending she doesn’t have a clue. I have just chosen to ignore it figuring that if she really wanted to talk she’d call… and I have call display. Isn’t it amazing how you can go from being totally into someone to having them hurt you really badly and then just not wanting to see them anymore cause your afraid they’re going to hurt you again. All the lessons I’ve learned over this last year have really helped cause I’m not getting bitter about this… rather I’m learning and moving on.
Past couple of days have been pretty darn good. Work started again and strangely enough I’m happy about that. I’ve started seriously looking for sales jobs in Kelowna and area and there have been some fairly intriguing positions advertised. I’ve started applying for some in the hopes of getting the hell away from doing this stupid go nowhere job I’m doing now (not that I’m not thankful for it).
The girl sent me an e-mail yesterday asking me “if there’s anything wrong” which I just can’t believe. I hate the fact that she’s pretending she doesn’t have a clue. I have just chosen to ignore it figuring that if she really wanted to talk she’d call… and I have call display. Isn’t it amazing how you can go from being totally into someone to having them hurt you really badly and then just not wanting to see them anymore cause your afraid they’re going to hurt you again. All the lessons I’ve learned over this last year have really helped cause I’m not getting bitter about this… rather I’m learning and moving on.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Monday, January 02, 2006
Happy Birthday To ME!
Well another birthday is here and I’m thrilled to say I’m no longer 25. 25 sucked in the WORST way. Though I grew a lot as a person this year it’s been tough slogging.
Today I went for breakfast with Matthew and his Fiancé which was nice as I had not been able to visit with Fiancé during their very short trip. I was able to spend a good portion of yesterday with Matthew though and it was very enjoyable to chat and get caught up on many things.
After breakfast I stopped at Starbucks to see Sister and she made me a coffee with a caramel 26 on top. It was such a beautiful morning that after leaving Starbucks I called my friend Steve and asked if he’d like to go for a little hike in Kal Park. He said that would work fine so we spent a good couple of hours wandering down to Cousins bay and back.
As Steve lives in the same side of town as The Baron I went over to the house to get a couple jackets I’ll need for work. The Baron had a vicious migraine but we had coffee and visited a little anyway.
Leaving The Baron’s I went to Winfeild and retrieved my jacket and martini glasses from ‘her’ house. I made sure this was a very quick and painless visit by leaving the car running, door open, and stereo pounding which didn’t leave room open for conversation. I hope that someday we can be friends again but it sure isn’t going to happen for a while.
To be very honest I really just feel like getting very drunk right now (where’s a bottle of wine when you need one?) but I’ve got the family plus The Baron coming over for a Birthday dinner tonight. So I won’t be doing anything like that and I know that getting drunk wouldn’t help anyway. Being so much more emotionally aware than I used to be I’m trying to figure out what to do with the emotions I’m feeling and deal with them in a constructive manner but I can’t quite seem to be able to. My counsellor once advised me that sometimes the best course of action is to just explore the emotion. Don’t try and change it just become aware of it and learn from it so that the next time the same emotion won’t hit you so hard. I’m trying…
So Happy Birthday to Me! I already know without a doubt that this year is going to be better than the last.
Today I went for breakfast with Matthew and his Fiancé which was nice as I had not been able to visit with Fiancé during their very short trip. I was able to spend a good portion of yesterday with Matthew though and it was very enjoyable to chat and get caught up on many things.
After breakfast I stopped at Starbucks to see Sister and she made me a coffee with a caramel 26 on top. It was such a beautiful morning that after leaving Starbucks I called my friend Steve and asked if he’d like to go for a little hike in Kal Park. He said that would work fine so we spent a good couple of hours wandering down to Cousins bay and back.
As Steve lives in the same side of town as The Baron I went over to the house to get a couple jackets I’ll need for work. The Baron had a vicious migraine but we had coffee and visited a little anyway.Leaving The Baron’s I went to Winfeild and retrieved my jacket and martini glasses from ‘her’ house. I made sure this was a very quick and painless visit by leaving the car running, door open, and stereo pounding which didn’t leave room open for conversation. I hope that someday we can be friends again but it sure isn’t going to happen for a while.
To be very honest I really just feel like getting very drunk right now (where’s a bottle of wine when you need one?) but I’ve got the family plus The Baron coming over for a Birthday dinner tonight. So I won’t be doing anything like that and I know that getting drunk wouldn’t help anyway. Being so much more emotionally aware than I used to be I’m trying to figure out what to do with the emotions I’m feeling and deal with them in a constructive manner but I can’t quite seem to be able to. My counsellor once advised me that sometimes the best course of action is to just explore the emotion. Don’t try and change it just become aware of it and learn from it so that the next time the same emotion won’t hit you so hard. I’m trying…
So Happy Birthday to Me! I already know without a doubt that this year is going to be better than the last.
I can't even describe the level of emotion I'm feeling right now. She fucking used me and I was to fucking dumb to realize anyone would do that to a friend who really, really cared for them. Guess I was wrong but it proves the point that sometimes Beauty is only skin deep. At least it was quick and painless. The Beautiful Girl / Lisa is no longer a part of my life... at least she won't be after I get some of my stuff back.
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