330AM

I don’t know why my body actually finds it painful to wake up at 300AM to be at work at 330AM but none-the-less it does.  I’m sitting here at the mill working and the time on the computer clock reads 336AM (I’ll be posting this later so the times will not match).  My neck muscles are really tight and my eyes feel scratchy.  The eyes I can understand but the neck muscles?  It’s strange how every grave yard shift I work this happens, must just be my body’s way of dealing with being up and working at such a weird time.  I’m sitting here clutching my Tim Horton’s double-double and listening to upbeat music on the computer in a bid to keep my energy up (maybe if I can convince myself I’m actually in a club the time won’t bother me so much!  Right…).

I guess the past week has been relatively hum-drum, but in a good way, as there really hasn’t been all that much to write about.  Last weekend I had a bit of a meltdown on Saturday night as a result of state of my social life.  After working all week alone in Castlegar I arrived home to an empty house, as my parents were in Saskatchewan, and nothing to do, with no one to do it with.  At that point I decided the most rational thing to do would be to work on my business plan and drink a bottle of wine (probably not the best way of dealing with things but hey who are you to judge!).  I ended up calling random people across the country.  So I ended up talking to people in the three Western Provinces and spending about 4 hours on the phone.  Not bad for a guy with a bottle of wine and a phone.  I think that it’s really weird how the loneliness just came out and hit me.  Part of the problem of course is the fact that being on the road makes it virtually impossible to meet people in town and all of my friends who actually are in town have families.  Just another chapter in life.

I’m trying to look at the job situation in a positive way.  I’ve been searching out jobs on the internet at companies that I would like to work for.  I’ve decided that I’m not going to take just any job, just for the sake of getting a job.  While it’s tempting to do just that I’m looking at my resume and realizing that it looks like I’ve been purposely job jumping for the past few years.  I’m not sure if employers are considering the fact that last year alone I worked for three different companies a bad thing or not.  Unfortunately I’m also thinking that most companies are looking for experienced people only.  The problem is that they can get the experience because there are so many boomers running around.  I really feel that it’s short sighted on the company’s part though to hire people that are going to be moving on really quickly though.  There is something to be said for youth.

A friend of mine who works for a large Canadian food services company (they’re in charge of cafeterias in everything from logging camps to hospitals) called me the other night and told me about an Assistant Manager’s position in a camp somewhere that is 3 weeks in and 1 week out.  Typically I wouldn’t even consider this because I hate not having a home base so much but the job starts around at around $80,000 and that does make it worth considering but I’m pretty sure that’s all I’ll be doing with it.  If I ever did decide that I was going to do it I would tell myself that I would only do it for a year to make money.  The problem with that, and I see it everyday in this job, is that you commit yourself to a year and then you end up getting far to used to the amount of money that your making and it gets really hard to go back and make a much lower salary after.

I seem to be waffling really bad on starting my own business to.  There are times when I convince myself that I should just do it… after-all what do I really have to lose?  Visiting Janet on Monday I went around with her as she gathered some lose threads for her business.  Knowing that she’s doing it really seems to bother me because I know that if she can do it than there’s no reason that I can’t do it.  I have to admit thought that it’s scary as hell to contemplate actually doing.  Dreaming is one thing, doing is another entirely.

I had the pleasure last night of having dinner and visiting with friends at their home in Lac La Hach.  I was actually friends with their daughter in Vernon when we were in high-school but have always kept in touch with them as well.  Their story is one of true joy and hardship.  They have been exceptionally poor and worth Millions (to the tune of 16 or so).  Right now they are back to being exceptionally poor but talking with them you’d be hard pressed to see evidence of that in their mood and outlook.  Telling them about Narcissus they were very encouraging reminding me that without taking a risk you’ll never know what could have been.  When two people who have gone through as much as they have can look at life and tell you that without being bitter that’s a pretty big testament to their beliefs.  

Well it’s now 500 only 9 more hours!