2005 has perhaps been the most brutal of my life in just about everyway. Emotionally I feel like I’ve been torn apart and sewed back together again so many times that my emotions probably resemble an ugh patchwork quilt but surprisingly that quilt is really warm and seems to just about fit… most of the time. I’ve been gay and then not. I’ve been in destructive relationships and I think I’ve fallen in love. I’ve been manipulated and taken advantage of. I’ve been the recipient of incredible generosity and goodness. Physically I’ve suffered from a series of extremely bad colds and of course endured the fabulous Mono episode. I’ve worked at The Bay, Zellers, 1-800-Got-Junk, tried to get a job at Starbucks, took the summer off and found myself working for my Dad again driving all over Western Canada. I’ve lived a dream of a life in Vancouver. I’ve lived a nightmare of a life in Vancouver. I found myself living in Vernon. I’ve partied everywhere. I’ve been depressed to the point of being suicidal; I’ve been deliriously happy. I’ve relied heavily on friends and family. I’ve come to appreciate both so much more. I have two homes in the same town that I can go to whenever I want and yet I’m homeless. I’ve been rich, poor and I’ve lived beyond my means. I’m beyond glad that this year is over.
Above all 2005 has taught me that family really is the most important relationship in life. Without the incredible love and support that my family has shown me this year I honestly don’t believe that I would be sitting here typing this. Such a marked difference from how this year started I find it absolutely amazing. So just for the record I just want to publicly state how much I love Dad, Mom and Sister. Though we have gone through some incredibly rough times this year I wouldn’t trade where we are in our relationship as a family for anything.
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