Well Singles Awareness Day actually turned out rather well. I had lunch with Marcie and then made dinner for Lexi and my friend the Mexican. One of Lexi's friends also joined us because as luck would have it she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday. So I spent Valentines Day entertaining three beautiful single women... every mans dream... right?

I also went to visit the counsellor that my parents had found, in hopes that it would be a match, and I have to say that I was NOT impressed. Basically I just met him for a meet and greet but from the moment his secretary gave me the wrong address to the building for the third time and I therefore arrived 20 minutes late and only after the counsellor himself had called to ask if I was still coming and gave me the address once I told him that I was wandering around the fucking city of Burnaby trying to find an address I didn't know did not exist. Anyway I went in and started chatting with this guy and he basically gave me some background on himself. I was really confused actually because thinking back now I should have asked him if he was gay. The impression that I was getting from him was that he was. Actually some good did come out of the short session because I really need to examine what I want to go to counselling for. Not so much what I want to go for counselling for I guess more-so what do I want to achieve with this. What are my goals. What do I want the counselling to achieve? Thinking about this a lot lately I'm wondering what do I really want?

My Parents seem to be under the impression that I am still in the same place that I was in three years ago when I first came to them about my sexuality and they freaked out. At that point I sincerely wanted to be 'normal' but didn't know how to do it. At the point where I am now I'm wondering am I going into counselling because they want me to? They seem to believe that I can sincerely change my very base ways of thinking and the very way my thought processes work. Of course my understanding of anything like this is that I would have to fundamentally change my life in ways that I'm not sure at this point that I want to. Seriously everything would have to change if that were to be the direction I'm going to consider taking. I would very seriously have to leave Vancouver and start life again somewhere else where no one knows me. Why would I have to do something that dramatic? Well the fact that all of my Vancouver friends know and accept me this way means that it would be seriously fucked up if I were to decide to suddenly start denying who I was again and start trying to be straight. I just don't know if I can do that again.

On a happier note Grandma is coming to visit this weekend. I'm planning on spending Saturday with her. As it's my weekend off this really works out well. Too much thinking right now. I'm going to bed.