As noted before the Bell Christmas party was fun. More has developed out of it than was originally planned though. The friend I went with (now deserving an alias as he'll be mentioned here more often now) Jack and I are now going to be officially seeing each other. This has been a huge step for me and I'm lucky he's such an amazing guy. The reason I say I'm lucky is that I really freaked out when the topic was brought up. I'm not even talking minor freak out... this was pretty major and I think that I hurt him a little. I let him get a little beyond the emotional wall I have spent years building and once I fully realized what I had done I just lost it. This relationship (?) is going to be interesting.

On another note I went into work today... yes, this is the second time in two weeks that I've gone into work on my day off for at least half a day. I had booked an appointment with a corporate client that I needed to see though and my schedule happened to cause my appointment to fall on my day off :( Oh well hopefully we see some sales as a result of my sacrifice.

Now I'm sitting here waiting for Jack to call as we have a date for dinner and a movie. I bought him a copy of one of my favourite books The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy I really hope he likes it.

Wow! The Bell Christmas party was so much fun! It's obvious that, that company has way more money than mine does! The party was held at the Sheraton Wall Center in Downtown Vancouver which fortuitously happens to be a very short cab ride from my house. So my friend and I took a cab down there and then had a great time.

Good Night!

I don't know if I mentioned this earlier but I am back on some medication again as my system crashed a number of weeks ago and I didn't realize. Suddenly my performance at work started to drop and I was constantly in a cloud. I've been back on the stuff for about a week now and I'm feeling so much better it's insane. At work I'm getting things accomplished, we're seeing results (little one's at that, but who cares something's happening), and it's just so much easier to be me.

Getting so excited for Raphael's visit! CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HIM! I wish he was bringing wify too but unfortunately circumstances dictate that it will not work.

I finally got my Christmas schedule and it's really pretty good. I have from the 24 to the 29th off so I'm going to go home. Silly me I already told my Mother this and now she's calling just about every night to say how excited she is that I'm coming home *rolls eyes*.

Oh, oh, oh! Last night I made my first roast! I cooked it in the crock pot all day while I was at work and it turned out absolutely fantastic. SO YUMMY! I have decided that I LOVE crock pot cooking, it's so easy and it tastes so good!

Looking forward to going to the Bell Christmas party tomorrow... It should be fun.

It's Will & Grace night! Yay! I live for Wednesday night. It's rather sad but it's true. So yes I'm sitting here eagerly awaiting the beginning of the show.

I'm going to a Christmas party Saturday night! It's the first of the season and it's gonna be interesting. It's for Bell Canada and my friend asked me to go with him so I said "sure". It sounds like it's gonna be a lot of fun. It's at the Sheraton downtown and there are gonna be tons of people there. I'll be sure to update everyone on Sunday morning about it.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with my trainer from work. This is the woman that is in charge of all of the trainee's in the BC chapter of the program. I'm going to make a list of questions that I want / need answered and we'll see where this goes.

Well I just finished an exhausting day. I went into the store early today to organize things for an event that I was at tonight and also went around to all of the offices in the office tower that is attached to my mall and visited every single office and promoted my products. Cold calling is exhausting but I'm really hoping that we see some results from it. God we need to see some results! After the work that I've put into it I expect some results. I've found three more office towers that I'm targeting this week so something should happen from this.

Well last night was Lexi's Birthday and it went off with out a hitch... well except for the Birthday girl being sent home at shortly around 1030! It seems that it should be a requirement of living in this house that you be able to navigate your way down stairs at a bar while drunk. Lexi did a swan dive off of a stage at this trashy bar that we ended up at last night that beat my tumble down the stairs at Celebrities four weeks ago by a mile! It was terrifying I was sure that she'd broken her neck. But nope! Up she popped from the floor and immediately started dancing away. Oye Vye! Well now I've got to get to work.

Damn I'm in a good mood! I met this great guy on the net last night and we ended up trading a bunch of MP3's and he sent me some truly wicked tracks! New music always makes me so happy :)

Well Mom and Dad's visit was very sucessful. We actually had a really good time and they were very excited to be here. I took them consignment shopping on 4th Ave and Mom got some good deals. I fell in love with a wool coat from Armani Exchange that fit me like a glove. Just perfect and it looked incredible. Oh if only I wouldn't have frozen my credit! Oh well next time... jackets come and go but your credit rating is forever... right. Mom and Dad brought me one of Mom's slow cookers so I'm going to use it within the next few days. I'm sort of excited about it for some reason. Hmm I guess it's cause I'm a loser!

Today I'm going to another friends house for lunch and movie watching. I'm very excited. I actually met him on the net as well. I swear if I lost my internet capabilities my social life would disintegrate.

Speaking of social life. Lexi's Birthday party is coming up! Yay! We're not entirely sure who's coming. Why is it so hard to get people to commit to anything these days? Gee's you wouldn't think it would be hard to get people to come over and drink! Go figure.

Fuckin Hell I hate work sometimes! I swear Wal-Mart here I come. God Damned company and it's fear and intimidation tactics. I really don't think that I'd be having these types of problems in another retail company. I could be entirely wrong of course but you know what, I could be right as well. Considering that I'm not the only trainee that's having as much trouble as I am. It really seems that the same problems are plagueing all of us. No direction! My mentor told me today that I looked like I was wandering around lost all the time. Gee, ya think that maybe it's time to give me some direction and help then wouldn't ya! I swear if I get the opportunity to get the hell out of this company soon I'm gone! (Of course I'm blowing off steam here... but you just never know!)

Feeling somewhat unsettled right now. I'm wondering if I'll be able to accomplish anything that I need to to be successful. You know those moods you get when you feel like anything is possible and you'll be able to accomplish anything? I'm not in one of those right now. I feel like I'm on The Apprentice every single day of my job. It's not a nice feeling especially when the final outcome is so undecided. I really feel that the company lied to us or at least purposely mislead us in telling us where we would be placed at the end of the training program. We were originally lead to believe that after the training program we would be placed in executive positions in a store. Now my understanding is that we will be placed in a store at a Sales Manager's position. Now there is nothing wrong with that but it is a lower position than was originally indicated. The point was brought up the other night by one of my fellow trainee's that we are already being paid more than a Sales Manager would generally make so are we going to be asked to accept pay cuts once things are figured out or is something else going to happen? I'm not sure. All I know is that it's going to be a frosty day when someone asks me to take a pay cut.

So yes feeling a little disjointed tonight. I did find out that Mom and Dad are planning on coming for a visit. They will be here on Tuesday night, spend the day with my on Wednesday and then leave that night. It's gonna be a very quick trip but I think that'll be the best kind.

So I have just been informed that I haven't actually told you fine people about my Vancouver Mom! I'm so sorry. Here I go on and on about her but I haven't introduced you all formally. Vancouver Mom is the result of one of the smartest decisions I could possibly have made since arriving at my new store. The first party that I went to at the store was at her house, she's one of the other Sales Managers. Well let's just say that Vancouver Mom is a women who really enjoys the company of men... especially cute younger men... especially after she's been drinking. Well anyway I saw this all coming that first night before she'd started drinking, you know how you just sometimes get these sixth senses about people, so I immediately dubbed her 'Vancouver Mom' I told her that as my Mom was in the Okanagan she could take care of me. Smartest damned thing I've ever done. She really took me seriously. Not only does she not come after me when she's drunk but she also protects me from many of the daily goings on in the store that I wouldn't know about. That and the fact that I get invited to all the best parties because of her really helps me with my 'in' ticket. Vancouver Mom's the best she's really been a life saver since I moved here.

Onto other news Raphael is coming to visit! OMG So excited! After finding out I immediately requested to have my day's off, during the time he's coming, co-incite with the time that he'll be here! Can't wait to see him and the Answer Man.

I went out to meet another new internet friend tonight. Very nice funny guy. We chat all the time online and on the phone so I decided that it was time to meet him. We went bowling and would you believe that we go into the bowling alley and the bowling guy is like... "I'll put you in lane 8 next to Swollen Members!" Imagine that bowling next to a semi-famous rock band. What a kick, I love Vancouver. So anyway the non-date (boi has a boyfriend) went well and we had a good time. He'll be a fun guy to hang out with.

Ok, well I should go to bed. I've been having trouble sleeping lately. It's been terrible as I haven't been able to sleep until 2 most nights recently. I don't understand it because I'm totally wasted the next morning. Oye, life is difficult.

I have decided that having Tuesday and Wednesday off during the week sucks. Yesterday I was at the store for a couple of hours even though it was my day off because my Rep was in and I thought that it was important that I be there. So today I slept in for many hours and then got up. Went and paid my car insurance then went and had a coffee and read a magazing at Starbucks.

Monday was a very difficult day actually. My new mentor and I were having a meeting and she was basically telling me everything that was wrong with the line. Fine. The problem was that she was making everything sound like it was my fault. I was so upset that after the meeting I went back to my office and seriously thought about crying. Instead I called Vancouver Mom and asked her what I should do. She told me to go back and ask mentor what the hell that was all about. So following her advice I went back to mentor and told her that I was feeling like I was getting into shit with her from the way that she was talking to me. She assured me that I wasn't in trouble but that she was just trying to relay the gravity of the situation. Um, I think I get it. I understand that we're down in sales by almost 50% but you know what there really hasn't been anything I could do about it in the last week that I've been there. I was too busy trying to clean up the mess that had been left by the prior two Counter Managers. So anyway I almost cried on Monday because I was just so frusterated.

We're starting to get into party planning mode over here as it is Lexi's Birthday next Saturday. We're planning on having a rather large assortment of different people come over to our place and then we'll all head out to the bar. I'm really looking forward to it I'm sure we're gonna have fun.

Oh an update on how I'm getting my financial house in order. I put my credit cards on ice. Literally, I froze the fuckers in a bowl of water in the freezer. Forces me to budget wisely because I can't firvolously spend this way.

PETER IS MOVING TO VANCOUVER! I'm so excited. I just can't wait. Means I'll have another friend in Van to hang out with. Yay!

Mom and Dad have been talking about coming down for a visit next week sometime. I'm actually looking forward to seeing them. It could end up being just my Mom who comes down though we'll have to see.

What else...

I'm really looking forward to life stabilizing a bit. My job has been somewhat horrendous as of late, personal life has been somewhat chaotic, and as mentioned above finances are not what I'd like them to be. Oh well as they say this must be the 20's.

Today was an excellent day. I finally got to see Marcie whom I have not seen for close to two and a half weeks now. We had an awesome coffee session for a couple of hours which was really nice. Now the only problem is that I had two Greek strength coffee's... buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Because I seem to be having trouble with my budget lately I have decided to take drastic measures. From now on it's cash only. I took my credit cards out of my wallet and it's budget time. The problem is that I know what I've done wrong and really feel silly about it. Oh well I've decided the change is gonna happen and that's that.

It was Vancouver Mom's birthday last night. We went to this amazing Indian restaurant and I was again amazed at how much my co-workers can drink. It's truly an amazing thing. Now I'm looking forward to Saturday morning breakfast that is a tradition at the store. They're all going to be completely hung-over though so it'll be interesting to see how the conversation is.

Lexi went on a date last night with some guy that she met over the internet. I think it went well as she got home shortly after I did at 1215. She then proceeded to bang loudly on my door. Just enough to scare the hell out of me and wake me from pre-slumber. I can't wait to hear about the date after work.

Now I am off to work to flog cosmetics. Thankfully the line has been up the last few days and on Wednesday we were the top selling counter in the company. Not bad if I do say so myself!

After stressing out about my work situation all night last night I went into work today and ran into the store manager. She asked me how it was going up there and I told her. She just looked at me and said "well maybe it's time to move these girls out of cosmetics!" D'uh. And here I didn't think I had the power to do that. Apparently I do. Let's just say the whole team at the counter needs to be changed so I'm gonna do it.

In other news... well there really isn't any tonigh. Good night!

Today I'm feeling very much like I hope that President Bush feels, like he's about to lose his job. I'm feeling really quite overwhelmed at work. I feel as though there is so much that I am supposed to be doing that I'm not it's crazy. I need to get organized. I'm spinning constatnly. How do I get my Associates to take ownership of their work? When I asked my Mentor that she told me that, that was my job! Then she told me that I just have to constantly follow up on what I ask them to do. In my mind that isn't so much helping them to take ownership as it is harrassing them until they do what I tell them to. Maybe I'm just missing something. I need to think outside of the box, I hate that phrase. Just feeling so frusterated right now. Need to take out some aggression on someone. I think I'll call Pam and yell at her for a while.

Sitting in my comfy chair as I type this I'm looking out of the sliding doors that form part of the wall of our living room. Right now the scene is so utterly fall that it makes me want to eat a pumpkin pie. The leaves on the trees are flaming red. Not even just red like a sports car but a vibrante red that you would usually equate with a living organizm. Now as I believe the leaves are all dead, I should call the Answer Man and double check that, it's really odd that they look so live and living. The scene is so picturesc that I'm just waiting for the Celine Dion soundtrack to start... That woman is starting to turn up EVERYWHERE! Air Canada has signed her to sing on their new commercials, she's entered some kind of Devil's tryst with Anne Geddes which resulted in a book that I'm quite sure thouroughly abused the babies! She has turned up as the face of the Hudson's Bay Company's Breast Cancer Awareness Month and she's got a new song out on the radio. Does anyone else realize that WE DO HAVE OTHER CANADIAN CELEBRITIES! For God sake there's got to be someone more deserving of all the media attention.

As mentioned yesterday I've got a cold again. I have to change a few things in my lifestyle here pretty quickly. I don't think the fact that I had four 12+ work day's in the last week helped. I run myself down and then I get sick. I called my Mother this morning and she told me that I need to start eating right.

I'm watching my favourite daytime talk show right now 'Ellen'! They are advertising the fact that Ellen will come to fundarisers / parties if invited. Currently she is getting ready to go to a Casino Night in New York. How great is that. I need to think of a way to get Ellen to come to Canada.

As the last paragraph shows I have nothing more interesting to write at the moment so I'll let you, my dear readers, go. Bye