I have been thinking about what happened Wednesday night. Seeing as I have never even been drunk before what the hell was going on in my head that caused me to do what I did? The following is not an excuse but more a possible rational as to why I did what I did. Wednesday was a fairly intense day. Starting off with my small group meeting, which touched on areas of 'growing together as a family' which I personally don't enjoy and really find discomforting...

Karla just called have to go.

Ok, I'm back... About 9 hours later.

So anyways the small group while interesting was rather uncomfortable and a tough way to start the day. Then I went to a meeting with my Strategic Management group from school. We were discussing the upcoming mid-term which I really do not feel prepared for. So after that I went to my counseling appointment, as previously mentioned, which was pretty good but also tough. After that it was home to wait until the interview. The interview while not what I expected at all stressed me out a lot. So these are the reasons that I give for my inane behavior the other night.

My strange behavior has continued though. Today I went to work and everything was fine but for some reason I walked out early... I don't know why but I honestly just thought that it was time to go. So I left. I got home looked at the clock, realized that it was only just 3:30, the time I was supposed to have left! OMG. It was right then that it hit me that I had also promised to stay a half-hour later and help one of the other managers with something. I'm going to get fired. No I'm sure they won't fire me, they just love me too much, but what does that do to my credibility?

So then I was home and working on my bloody paper when I realized it was 5:30 and I was supposed to meet P for supper before we went to church. So I finally got to the restaurant 15 mins late and found she had already eaten. I don't blame her of course but I feel terrible.

So we went to church and it was a pretty decent service. Of course the Pastor had to be talking about Spiritual Maturity though and after the week I've had I had a tough time with it. P seemed to enjoy it though and told me that she would like to come next week. Seems I may have a convert, how did this happen.

One more thing about church tonight, it was full of FUCKING Mennonites. Yes, the very ones that contributed to making my life hell in Vernon. Seems they destroyed their own church and have decided to commute to my church. I'm so happy, here's the reason why... Of course I feel guilty about thinking that way about them though. I can understand they would want to go to a church as well but why, why, why, did they have to choose mine? God why do you keep enabling these people to torture me?