Well after an all to short time in Edmonton I’m back at camp. Let me tell you about my super expensive haircut. After struggling not to fall asleep I made my way down to the salon (Swizzle Sticks) and after waiting for a few moments in the lobby I was introduced to a total cutie of a “prep girl” (I have no idea what her actual title is) who handed me a roll of black fabric and directed me towards a change room with the direction that I could “take my shirt off in there”. I think the way my voice broke and the look on my face when I said “take my shirt off!” gave her some indication that I had no idea what was going on. After a casual glance around the salon I noticed that everyone was wearing the “smock” so I figured that it must be ok. I entered the room and got into the smock and tried to calm down.

Leaving the relative comfort of the change room I entered the main salon area where “prep girl” told me that now she was going to give me a ‘relaxation massage’. Well the relaxation massage consisted of her rubbing her hands over my neck, shoulders, biceps, and scalp. Well let me tell you there was very little relaxing about having a random hottie ‘massaging’ me while I was wearing a smock not knowing exactly what I’d gotten myself into. Thankfully the massage didn’t last long, as I suspect that ‘prep girl’ was just about as uncomfortable as I was. She led me over to the sink and proceeded to shampoo my hair. I have to say that I enjoyed the shampoo and condition much more than the massage. I think the ‘prep girl’ did to as she started to open up and chat quite a bit more. After getting my hair satisfyingly shampooed and conditioned I was ready for the main event.

This was when I met Galina! Galina was to be my Stylist for the duration of my time at Swizz. Galina was the epitome of what one would think of when they think about a Russian stylist. She had the accent, she had the pink dress, she had the stiletto’s! Just watching her run around the salon made my calves want to beg her for mercy. Galina is of that breed of stylist who seemed to feel that it was necessary to chit chat while she did my hair. I, being as tired as I was, was really in no mood to chit chat or be my regular charming self so I tried to keep it short.

I’m not really sure if it was a communication / culture gap or if she just felt like insulting me but if it was the latter of the two she was a master at making you feel like an idiot while giving NO indication that she was doing it. First she asked me when my last haircut had been, when I told her it had been just less than three weeks before she brought her hands up to her perfectly ‘O’ shaped mouth (almost poking herself in the face with her scissors) and said “Wit all of de split endz I sought it was MUCH longer zan zat!” Then she asked me if I used a flat iron? Later she advised me to stay blonde as my natural colour isn’t all “zat appeeeling”. She finished off with a round of “so many girlz would LOOOOVVVEEE to have your hair it’s was shame that I wasn’t a girl!” The final salvo might or might not have been a dig as she told me that she was sure when I was liiittle I must have beeen ahn Anngellll.

Now quite honestly I think that Galina did a fairly mediocre job on my hair and I’m not just saying that because I’m bitter or something. It’s just not the best haircut I’ve ever had. I do have to say that I would consider going back to that place just because Galina herself was so damned entertaining. Hell I even left her a $10 tip just because it was so strange to see a salon full of people that uncomfortable because I had wandered in wearing a bright yellow and green Old Navy t-shirt and jeans. Obviously these people were used to catering to Edmonton’s “elite” and thank what powers that be I’m not one of those. Next time I go I think I may grab a random homeless guy and treat him to a ‘relaxation massage’ and haircut!