I've been reading various books lately that deal with my personal situation and as each of them talks about eventual freedom I know that I've still got some deep seated hatred or anger or someting(!) going on that I have to deal with but I don't know how to or even what it actually is. I just know that it has something to do with the church... or rather the people it is made up of and that until I get that figured out I'm likely not going to be able to make a huge amount of progress.