Ah, What's the point?

Feeling rather down.  Reading an article in McLeans magazine yesterday on depression really got me thinking about the issue again for the first time in a long time.  Reading the experiences of these people was something that I really identified with.  It sucks but it’s an issue that I’ll just have to deal with.  I think the only way I can really and fully describe what I’m feeling / feel is just a sense of utter hopelessness.  I don’t want to think about Narcissus, because there’s no way I’ll ever get it off the ground / it’ll just ruin me if I do etc.  The future is just full of shit, taxes, payments, no escape from the rat race.  Finances are really weighing heavily on me at this point too, but I think that’s a result of the depression.  This time it’s stranger than times before though because I’m reasonably happy on the surface… the hopelessness just lurks in the background.  Where it always is…