Dial up Sucks! Thank God I have it though!

So two things of note happened today. I passed five vintage Rolls-Royce Motorcars on the Trans-Canada highway in Chase B.C.. And a lady brought her pet goat to her appointment! Yes a pygmy goat. It was cute but still strange.

I just started reading The 17 Secrets to success by... some guy. Well the first few pages said that in order to be successful you need to have a love, passion, deep seated interest, etc. Basically a goal or something that you want and desire to become a world expert in. I agree because if you are going to be good at something and if I'm going to do a job for the rest of my life I want it to be something I love. Now I just have to figure out what that is.

Thinking things over last night I realized that my frustration with my seeming disinterest in finding a new job (and yet desperately wanting one) is very much a result of two things. The first and most important is that I have been focusing so much on my mental health lately that I haven't been able to do anything more. In essence I'm coasting in most other areas of life until I order my mental issues properly. This makes perfect sense but it is very frustrating. Frustrating in the sense that I've been used to working a number of jobs and going to school and having constant stimulation for so long that now that I am unable to do this it's bewildering. The second aspect is that I really don't know what I want to do and trying to focus on something that you can't even figure out is tough. The fact that aspect one cancels out aspect two just adds to the confusion.

Discussing some of this with my Dad last night I gave myself a deadline of December. I'm quitting this job come December.

Reading last years entry on here for today's date proves yet again how quickly things can change in a year. How quickly I have changed and how much. The Baron mentioned to me just this week that I am completely changed even since arriving on his doorstep in July. I feel different and things are starting to make a lot more sense. I always want it to move faster though. I believe my counselor would tell me to "stop and enjoy the moment." I'm doing what I can to enjoy that but...

I am REALLY looking forward to Saturday. I'm going to Quail's Gate Winery for a wine festival luncheon with Tim and Lisa. We decided that we are going to do two wine festival events for the Fall festival instead of going to our usual Fall Festival Grand Tasting. So this is event one and event two is looking to be some kind of Murder Mystery evening sponsored by one of the other local wineries. I really with I had someone to go with... Sometimes singleness does very much suck.

From Kamloops, good night.