It's funny how psychology works. At one point your floating along feeling as though life is grand and the next your so beaten down and weak it's almost unbearable. Well that happened to me last night. I have been delving into my past lately and some of the things that I have found have been apalling. Now I'm feeling a mixture of different feelings. Mainly hurt, anger & humiliation. The hurt and anger are mostly directed at my parents because of their inability to have seen how things were affecting me and my young life. The humiliation is mostly felt because of the way that my Uncles treated me growing up. Sadly when I talk to my parents about this they, while of course upset, tell me that it was their intention, by having me spend time with my Uncles, to get the male influence in my life from them that my Father was unable to give because of his constant travelling. It's really a travesty that all of this backfired and the best of intentions ended up causing me a lifetime of hell. Now I'm just trying to hold it all together. Tonight I hate my family. Tomorrow I think will be different.