I woke up from a quick nap and found that I was irrationally angry! Pissed off at the world that's what I am right now. I seriously almost snapped on my naturalpath at my appointment a bit ago. Then it was all I could do to be plesant to my friend the checkout girl at Safeway.

Well as announced yesterday I have mono. What does this mean. Well as far as I can tell it means that I have an hour to two hour nap when I come home from work each day and am in bed by approximately 8 or 9. Such an exciting life I lead.

Well it's past the time when Starbucks said they'd be back to me which for all intents and purposes at the moment is fine because I really couldn't have done anything with them anyway but... this still makes me feel like a loser. I can't even get hired by Starbucks. Fuck. When am I going to escape the hell that is a call center? Now I suppose that for now it really is fine because I'm not physically capable of doing anything else but I stumble out of there everyday feeling terrible because I'm not hitting my targets. There's really not a damned thing I can do about that because although my numbers arn't bad they arn't great. Today I worked out how many calls I received that I should not have received (i.e.- Cancellations) and Areas not serviced and that was over 15% of my total calls for the day. So obviously when I keep getting calls like these how in hell am I supposed to keep my conversion rate up. Very frusterated with life in general. Really want to drop everything, move back to Kelowna and start life over.

Yep, I have Mono!

So I got a call at work today from my Dr. He wants to see me regarding the bloodwork results. I'm heading over there in half an hour and of course I'm jumping to all the worst conclusions. Freaking out!

Just to forewarn you I'm going to wallow in some self-pity here for a bit. I feel as though I've experienced way more in this last year than many people will experience in many years. I suppose this is a good thing in a way but it's really taken a tole on my self-confidence. I often wonder at my own abilities and shudder to see how they fall short of what and where I believe they should be. Ok I'm done now.

Amazingly I still feel like crap. Having a sore throat while working at a job that your on the phone talking all day for is rough. I kept spraying my throat with numbing stuff, the problem with that is that it would consistently numb my tongue which made it hard to talk. I'm supposed to hear back from the Doctor about my tests by the end of next week sometime. I'm hoping it's sooner.

Yet again it's a smokin hot day in Vancouver and I'm too tired to do anything. That and my head hurts. I may go to the beach with Peter this afternoon but quite honestly I'm not up to it. Well see how I'm feeling when he calls. Anyway that's pretty much it for the upate today.

And I thought I was just working to hard... spent the day running around getting various tests and medical advice. Started off this morning when I woke up with yet another headache, sore throat, and a nose full of snot. As I was planning on replenishing some of my vitamins anyway I called the naturalpath and made an appointment. Well after my symptoms confused the hell out of him for a good 45 mins he said that it maybe allergies to dust but that to be on the safe side I should go and see a Dr. and get a mono test. So I trudged off to the Doctor's (it's such an amazing day here I have just been walking everywhere) an he was a little more concerned after checking my glands, spleen, ears, and throat. So he did a mono swab then told me to go and get a bunch of blood test's done. Now I sit here with a headache feeling very tired and considering taking a very long nap... if only that wouldn't fuck up my sleep schedule.

Oh between Doctor and lab I went and got my hair lightened again. What can I say it wasn't blonde enough for the summer. Now it REALLY is! Yay blonde.

I finally found it! The perfect cinnamon bun! Cobs Bread! They're delightful.

Well I now have a potential major dilemma. I was asked if I would be interested in a Shift Supervisor's position when all I applied for was a position as Barista! The catch is that this is between 20 - 30 hours a week... on top of my actual bread and butter job. 60 hours a week I can handle... 70 I'm not so sure. But then I may be getting ahead of myself as well as they havn't officially offered me the posistion yet. Basically the Manager told me that she'd be willing to work around my other schedule and this job would mean more Supervisory experience on the ol' resume as well as faster advancement through the company which could possibly mean that within a few months I could ditch the full time job and work at Starbucks full time... hmm decisions, decisions.

Went to Richmond today and sprung blue. Yay it only cost $600! What the hell I'm made of $$$...

I had my first interview at Starbucks yesterday and I was immediately asked to come back today for a second interview with the Store Manager so the feeling is good... I'll let you know later tonigh.

I possibly just found the most over rated eatery in Kitsilano. The deli at Capers Market! Truly TERRIBLE! I thought that as the damned place is always packed that the food must be good or cheap (hopefully both) unfortunatly neither was the case. I spent $9 on a slice of lasangia that was uncermoniously plopped onto a plastic plate, along with some asparogas. They tossed the food into a microwave and handed it too me. Well as anyone knows microwaving lasangia takes a hell of a lot more time than the 1:00 they threw it in there for. So I was entirely dissatisfied with my cold lasangia and asparogas! I vow I will NEVER eat in there again!!

Well it's the long weekend and in typical long weekend fashion it's pouring rain intermittently. I heard on the news the other day that it's rained for the long weekend for the past 11 (or is it 7) years now. Lexi's gone camping somewhere, an experience I'm sure that I don't envy.

So I'm sitting here thinking about cinnamon buns... you know the ones. No not the ones that are just kinda sticky I'm talking about the sticky, gooey, Costco cream cheese covered ones! Mmmm, I had one on Tuesday from Terra Breads and while it was one of the kinda sticky ones it was truly good. Now I'm starting to crave the icing covered variety. I'm gonna have to go and check out Cobs breads as I hear that they create exactly that. If that doesn't work then I'll just go to the Kits Coffee company and have one of there reasonably good buns. Too bad I have to drink they're coffee too!

Off in search of a cinnamon bun.

Moving along in the theme of the day I just got a notice of a rent increase from the Landlord! What else...

Well I just got back from work and on my way I got a phone call from my Ford dealership. Seems that I bent a strut on Blue when I smoked the curb yesterday! Including all the work for that as well as the new key I got cut my total is gonna be well over $500! Argh! I swear it never rains in my world it's just an intermittent tsunami! I should really start to worry when things calm as history should have taught me that it's not gonna last. Surprisingly though I'm still in a great mood. I think it has a lot to do with the extra rest I've been giving myself lately. Lots of doing nothing, reading and going to bed early. Well I think it's time I wandered down to Starbucks (God I hope I get that job I'm really gonna need the extra cash!) and have a coffee.

OMG WHAT A DAY! So I woke up and wanted to stay in bed. Instead I went to work and hated being there cause it seemed that only a bunch of morons were calling in today. Didn't make me happy. Then I went home and collected the car as he needed to go to the shop to see about some warrenty work. Then while driving down the street I drove the poor guy into a curb which caused the rim to be skuffed and threw the alignment totally out! So I called the dealership and updated them on the the new things that needed to be done including a new key as I believe that I accidentaly threw one of mine out, including the fob! Imagine my horror when I was told that because the key contained an imobilizer chip just to replace the key would be $100! A new fob would be $40-70!!! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The good news is that I got a call from the Starbucks that I applied to for an interview. Yay!

Parents really buggin me again.

Over an out time for bed!

Love ya'll

Oh I forgot to mention this... the other night while waiting for my sister to arrive I went out for what was the most expensive drink I've ever had. While at Milestones with some friends my car was towed! OUTRAGOUS! Apparently I was parked within 5 ft of a fire hydrant. Of course I saw it but thought to myself.. Oh there's plenty of room and this is a parking spot and there's no sign or anything. Come out of the restaurant not even 30 mins later and my baby's gone! So MAD! Anyway he's back with me now but he's got a mysterious clunking sound that's happening so I'm still MAD! He's going in to visit the dealership tomorrow where they'll take care of him using all that Ford Quality Care they're always yapping about. All I know is that it better be covered by warrenty.

Happy Day! The Liberals have managed another majority government. Now as I am thrilled with the results of the vote I have to say that I am happy the opposition (the hated NDP) has been granted 30 seats as well. I recognize the value of having a strong oposition because of the attempt at balance that is needed in politics. However I do believe that the Liberals have done a more than admirable job in governing this province and returning it to it's rightful place in this country. If the lessons of the past 4 years have taught the people of the province anything I hope that it's a message of fiscal responsibility. As incredibly important as social services are there is a limit to what I find reasonable. Claims by 'certain people' about the Liberals increasing the rate of homelessness in this province are particularly ludacris when they are most assuradly getting these stats from some left-wing think tank (or Mother, as the case may be). Like anything returning to health sometimes requires tough medicine and the Liberals are the only government in the recent past who have been able to clearly see what needed to be done.

I went to the Chiropractor today because my neck has been very painful for the last few weeks. With a referral from my Kelowna boys at Okanagan Health and Performance I went to a chiropractor just down the street from my house. I'm feeling much better but poorer.

I managed to pick up a cold the other day. My typical exhausted cold, an old friend left over from my HBC days. Well he's back but I'm using my days off this week, today and Sunday to do nothing and just read, sleep and enjoy myself. This is actually the first week in a long time that I havn't had someone either from out of town or in town visiting. I love the visits but it's been almost non-stop for about 7 weeks I think. So it's nice to have a break.

To hell with finding a new hobby, I'm gonna try and get me another job! I'm hoping that I will be able to get a part-time job at one of the Starbucks in my neighbourhood. It only seems natural actually as I love coffee and have always wanted to work for this company for some reason. Resume's and applications going out shortly.

Last night was great! Had lots of fun partying with the girls at Skybar in Vancouver. I believe it was agreed on by everyone that Skybar is definetely one of the snobbiest bars ever... But then thinking about it, I think that may just be Vancouver bars in general... hell the whole fucking city's rediculous when it comes to snobbery. It's one of those weird situations where everyone bemoans the fact that it's reality but no one seems to want to do anything about it. Just the other week I was reading in the Georgia Straight and someone had written a story about how people on Vancouver transit don't look at each other, just a small example of the fact that people know it happens. Overall for a city that bills itself on being so friendly there are a lot of lonely people here. Sad thing is though it's their own damned fault for being so increadibly self-absorbed. I'm actually pretty sure that is the problem here. People are incredibly self-absorbed. It's all about looks and that's it. Overall though I can't get to down on Vancouver for this whole issue because as far as I know just about every large city is absolutely full of self-absorbed people. Thoughts anyone?

I'm waiting for my Sister to get here! I'm very excited it's the first time the fabulous red headed terror will have visited me here in Vancouver and I am expecting it to be great. I'm having a small party tomorrow night to celebrate.

I don't remember if I wrote about it previously or not but I'm going to make small mention of my Mother's day at home. I was unfortunate enough to have not realized that it was Mother's Day last Sunday and that I would be within a very short driving distance of my parents home... therefore leaving me with no excuse with which to be able to say 'Wish I was there'. Stupid I know. So I went home and it just like every time that I go home it was traumatic as hell. Having had the time to reflect upon the situation I think that I've pinpointed why visits to the family home seem to throw me for such a loop. Apparently my parents do not seem to be the main reason for the feeling of emptiness and hopelessness that I feel while there. The Okanagan has a strange draw on me in that, that's where my roots are and they run deep. The problem is that there is no nourishment for those roots. There is nothing there and especially at my parents home for me. Walking into their 'perfect' home with it's sterile feeling and its air that no one actually lives there seem to kill me. Nothing in that house reflects any part of who I am or what growing up there was like. My Mother has been systematically 'updating' everything in the past few years in this bizarre 'antique' look that she seems to favour. Even before the remodeling though the house never felt like a home. It was a place to stop on the way to friends homes that felt more like home. The Baron's aerie overlooking the lake, my old best friends home on the lake these are the places that I consider home when I return to Vernon. So understandably it's a fucked up feeling being home and yet not feeling as though that place exists.

Vancouver while a great temporary home is just that I believe. I think that within the next few years I will be home in the Okanagan building a home that actually feels like home and is able to provide what I need from it.

So after I shut the computer down last night I got to thinking... what is it that people do in their spare time? Why do I feel guilty for staying at home in the evenings during the week and watching TV, chatting, or reading? I think that it's possibly because there is this idea that if your going to meet people you must do it in your spare time while taking a class joining a team or doing some other such activity. Now part of the problem for me is that I really don't have any hobbies or sports that I enjoy so now the question is what should I join? And once I'm there how do I keep my interest up enough to go on a weekly basis?

My latest experiment was to volunteer for Gordon Campbell's re-election campaign. Quite honestly while I am still very passionate about seeing the Premier remain in office I'm just not all that excited about doing all that much more for the campaign. I have done general office work, I have done mail drops, and I have gone to a rally... I've met some nice people and all but did I really meet any new friends? No. Maybe I'm expecting to much.

My Dad last night suggested that maybe I should look for some kind of book club or wine club. I'm considering this but my impression of these types of clubs is that they are generally filled with older people, and frankly that's not really what I'm looking for.

Well, off to work.

As usual my trip to Kelowna has left me feeling unsettled and frustrated. Tim and Lisa put on an amazing dinner, no banquet is a better term, on Friday night when we arrived in town. Of course Janet was there and the whole time was great fun. Until of course Tim pulled out the 151 and INSISTED that I have some with him. Not really wanting to I protested but he poured me a shot anyway. Well I drank a shot with him and then he decided that he wanted to do another. Again I protested but drank the damned thing anyway. So now we're both feeling pretty drunk and then he gets sick! Serves him right the bastard. As he ran to the toilet he kept repeating "this isn't the way it's supposed to happen!" Sorry Tim backfired on ya.

Saturday was spent wandering aimlessly around Kelowna enjoying the sites and doing a little bit of shopping with Janet and the Russian (he came with me from Vancouver). We then got ready for the festival and I have to say that Janet and I were looking hot! Me in my new pink shirt and her in her pink dress. We proceeded to the festival where we decided that this year was not a good crop for the Okanagan in General as there were very few wines we actually enjoyed this year. Because the quality wasn't very good Janet decided to go for quantity and this proved to be the downfall. I have to say that I don't believe I will be going to the Fall Festival this year because of the way that things happen when Janet gets drunk. It's just not pleasant for anyone because of the way that she acts. We shall have to see though. Needless to say I wasn't very impressed.

Sunday saw Mother's day come and go for another year and I made the trip up to Vernon. Having no viable alternative I took the Russian with me which made things slightly uncomfortable with the family. I didn't actually notice this though until my Father told me tonight. To be fair I was fairly reluctant to bring him with me up there anyway though.

Still something about that Valley that I seem to want but once I'm there I end up despising it. I don't know what's wrong with me but there are things that seem to upset me terribly about going home and I cannot seem to be able to get over them.

So as stated at the beginning the current mood and feeling is one of frustration. Not so much with myself or anyone in particular but rather with life itself.

YAY One more sleep 'till Kelowna! Wine Festival HERE I COME! Today was yet another gorgeous day in Vancouver. One that I had a very time spending money on. I think I learned a very important lesson toay. Do not walk home along 4th Ave! Rather stick to 1st where there are no shops. On the bright side though I did find my Mother's Day gift for Mommy though. In Urban Barn, one of my favourite stores, they had these cast iron pigs with wings attached to their backs. Well they are adorable, not to mention heavy, so I had to get one for Mom. Silly me wasn't thinking that I'd have to carry it the approximatly 8 blocks up the road to get it home. By the time that I finally got home I had to lay on the floor and stretch my back! Silly pig. I also bought a new shirt from a consignment store to wear to the wine festival. It's like nothing I own already. It's pink, red and white striped but the stripes are in various directions. With my grey Kennth Cole pants it's gonna look hot! I also found a used book store and I stopped in and bought a new book as it's been far to long since I finished reading 'The Life of Pie'. The book I bought is 'How to be good' by Nick Hornby, the author of 'About a boy' and other such soon to be classics. I'm hoping that it will be really good as the author comes highly recommended.

Well as usual when things are going well I don't really have all that much to write about. The U2 concert was phenomenal. No really it was awesome. I was thrilled to have gone as the concert was seriously impressive. They played upwards of 20 songs and the production itself was amazing. Serious amounts of money were spent on this show for which I give U2 kudos.

Matthew is in town and we spent some time together yesterday. Poor guy was totally zoned cause he was SO tired. He's currently on his way over to visit now and I think we'll order pizza and visit for a while.

Work is getting better as I'm no longer at the bottom of the pile for incoming calls. Makes my day much more eventful which is nice.

Hmm, oh Janet was in town this weekend to which means that Saturday night was spent in somewhat of a stupour, if ya know what I mean, but we had fun. I'm really looking forward to visiting with her this coming weekend as we party in Kelowna at the wine festival. Also can't wait to hang out with Lisa and Hans!