Wow can I be a drama queen when I'm tired. I fully realized yesterday that I really need to stay on top of taking my supplements. I ran out of them about a month ago and I think that yesterday was a combination of being extreamly tired and not having taken my supplements for quite a while. So yes I am fine. I'm still going to be tentatively looking for a job but I'm not in the huge panic I was in yesterday.

Got word this morning that Matthew will be in town this weekend from Taiwan! YAY! Can't wait to see him. Imagine that U2 an Matthew all in the same weekend.

I'm crashing again... slowly depressingly crashing. I'm not really enjoying the job all that much. Surprisingly working in a call center kind of sucks. Who knew! There are parts about it that I don't mind but overall it's boring as hell and I keep getting my ass kicked in the statistics because I can't seem to race through calls as quickly as most of the other people. I've started looking for another job again. How depressing *sigh*. I wish I knew what I actually wanted to do.

Happily I got a slight sunburn yesterday while hanging out at Vancouver's infamous wreck beach. It was just really nice to be out in the sun for so long. No I was not naked.

More good news I found out today that I did get the time off to go to Kelowna for the wine festival in two weeks. I'm excited about that. Thank God for wine.

No he's not I just thought is seemed like a good chapter header! ;)

Life is moving along at a surprising clip. I'm constantly amazed at the things that happen to me. Take last night for instance. A racoon almost ran into the house! Because of the absolutely insanely amazing weather we've been having in Vancouver for the past week Peter, Lexi and I were sitting around drinking a bottle of my Quail's Gate Gwerts and enjoying the sun in the livingroom. We had our patio door wide open and I was telling Peter about how I had seen a racoon on Thursday night. As we chatted about it Lexi say's OMG look there it is! We stood and watched it climb down the tree across the street. The little bastard came running across the road right towards us! Lexi walked back into the house completely uninterested and Peter decided that he was going to stare down the racoon! I was starting to get a little apprehensive of this situation when the racoon stopped and stared back. I decided it would be best to walk into the house and hope the racoon and Peter didn't get into a fight as Peter was holding one of my favourite wine glasses that Raphael and Wify gave me for no apparent reason a while back!

The first week of work passed reasonably uneventfully. Well today was a little interesting one of the guys that was hired with me was fired today. It was really weird, so I called him and we hung out after I was done work and he didn't really get it. Very strange. I'm not sure how long I'm going to last at this company. Not for any reason other than the fact that working in a call center like this is bound to get boring here real soon. We'll see though. I'm think I'm going to look around a bit again. Now that the pressure is off I will be more relaxed about the whole thing.

Other than that I don't really think that I have all that much more to update all of you about. Things are reasonably good and aside from the regular money worries there's not all that much going. Oh I'm going to U2 on Friday so that's kind of exciting. I'm also trying desperately to get the next weekend off as well so that I can go the the Okanagan Wine Festival. I was able to find some friends who wanted to go with me and split the cost of gas so now that I've done that of course I have to get the time off to go. Cross your fingers for me!

I spent the day with a great assortment of friends. Ok, back up to last night. OMG I partied WAY to much. I went over to Peter's house and we polished off a bottle of wine each with Indian food. Then because we'd been listening to upbeat music all evening we were drunk enough to decide that going to the bar would be a fantastic idea so we went. I called a friend of mine that get's me into the bar free of cover and he met up with us at Peter's house. Then we went to the bar. We danced a little while then decided that we should go to the other bar for a while too. We went there and danced. Then we went back to the first bar again. By the time that it was decided we would go to a house party it was 3:30AM and I decided that it would be a better idea for Andrew to go home. I talked to Peter this morning at 11 to find that I had woken him and that he'd only been home and sleeping for 3 hours! Oye!

Today my friends from Coquitlam came into town and we spent the day wandering around downtown and then I made them supper. I met her because she is in the same Management Training program that I was in at HBC. Talking to her it's unreal how unhappy she is and I really feel bad for her. Regardless we had a great time and she wants me to help them find a place in my neighborhood cause she hates living in the Coquitlam ghetto that she's in now. I'm really excited if they do move down to Kits cause they're awesome and it'd be great to have another set of friends living in the neighborhood.

Well right now I'm exhausted because of all the events of the past day and night. My house is a disaster as Lexi isn't around to make me feel guilty for leaving things everywhere. It's amazing how things like that happen. Oh well I'll have to clean tomorrow.

Final news of the night is that I ordered a case of Quail's Gate Gwerstrameiner (sp?) yesterday. Finally got some guaranteeing that it won't be sold out on me again like last year meaning I only get one delicious bottle. (Isn't that last paragraph a beauty? Honest I'm not a red neck I do have some schooling behind my terrible writing skills)

Well my first day at work went really well. I love the culture of the new company and everyone is so young it's just amazingly refreshing. By the end of the day I was feeling a little bit overloaded from all the information they had given us and then had us play around with the software we'll be using but I felt good.

After work I went to the gas station and filled the car up because blessedly gas was down at 96.5 cent / liter! Wow, Praise OPEC. God. I'm so happy that I walk to work now!

After the gas station I went to the BC liberals Nomination Convention where I realized just how young blonde hair makes me look when I was asked if I was over 18 then handed a shirt and told to join the youth in the Balcony. How exciting. Premier Gordon Campbell gave an awesome inspiring speech and everyone was very happy. I really was extremely impressed with the Premier's speaking abilities. The man spoke intelligently for an hour seemingly off of one note card. Here's to a successful election for the BC Liberal Party!

Well I'm starting my new job today. It's a lovely morning in Vancouver so I think that I am going to walk to work today. Just the fact that I can walk is exciting to me. Feeling mildly nervous this morning though.

I stayed up way to late last night talking with Sister on the phone. It's interesting how both of us seem to have aproximately the same reaction to our parents and how crazy they make us. Mostly it's our Mother and any anger that I have bound up inside is mostly directe towards her.

Well I'm blonde again! Yeppers, after trying red and then watching it fade really quickly and getting tired of people asking me why I darkened my hair (I'm not a natural blonde anymore people!) I made an appointment with my stylist today and went back blonde. I'm going to grow my hair out again as well. It's actually kinda funky right now as there is still some red evident in there so it's kinda blonde, copper, brown right now. Fun! So I start my new job with training tomorrow. Getting a little excited!

Last night was a gong show. Happily I won't be hearing about the white couch anymore from Lexi as I took her over to a friends house an she poured red wine all over the white carpet! Sweet! Almost poetic if I do say so.

Anyway today's one of those days where it's absolutely beautiful in Vancouver. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the air is WARM! It's great. The problem is that everyone else in Vancouver has realized this as well and they're starting to invade my neighbourhood. True I live near the beach an close to 4th Ave. so I really can't expect people not to want to be here but gee's is it crowded down here. I hear from Kits vetrans that it's bound to get worse... much, much worse. Apparently Surrey comes to visit in about a month.

So what am I doing toay to take advantage of the amazing weather? Nothing. I went for a breif walk and got tired. So I came home. Just not really interested in doing anything today. It was a big day and night last night so I don't think it's a big deal.

I hung out for a while with Peter tonight. He's going through a bit of a rough patch. The guy that he's currently in a relationship and living with is moving home to Salmon Arm. Just out of the blue he decided this after going home for the week. The poor guy is really confused and lost and Peter told me that his parents, who belong to a Baptist church, are pressuring him to come back to Salmon Arm to live with them. Peter also told me that the guy believes that Peter is possesed by the Devil and that's the reason he's done everything he has since meeting Peter. Now being no stranger to religion and messed up confusion I feel just sick about this situation. Why? Well mostly because I know that there is no way anything is going to change for this guy if he moves back in with his parents... no matter how well-meaning they are likely mis-guided. I really want to have my parents talk to these people. With the sudden depth of knowledge that they have I think that it could be good for these people in their dealings with their son. Hopefully it could stop a potential destruction of a young life and ease a huge degree of pain and suffering for the parents.

Moving on... now that I'm employed again I'm asking myself some other questions. While talking with Peter tonight I was mentioning how this job was the last thing that I ever would have thought about being excited about months ago. Imagine being employed in a call center. Me with my University Degree in Business and Associate of Arts. I'm far to highly qualified for this type of thing. So while I'm excited about a new start and a new direction I'm also mildly troubled about not having lived up to my potential. During the interview today one of the questions was "tell us about a time that you failed" The first thing that came to my mind was my last job. In my mind I failed at that job. Saying nothing of all the facts that boldly stared me in the face that it was just not the right fit for me I still feel as though I failed. And to top it off now I'm working in an entry level position that isn't even Management. Looking at it another way I used to be partially responsible for a $20 Million store... now I answer phones and try and convince people to use our service. Strangely the pay scale is almost the same as what I was making with HBC but the whole concept has just changed. Talking about this situation, with Peter, and money in general tonight I was mentioning how if I moved to a less desirable neighbourhood or sold or downgraded my wonderful car I would have SO much more money. But then of course came the flip side of that, well I'd have more money but I wouldn't get to live across the street from the beach or within walking distance of the downtown core of the city. If I sold or downgraded the car then... well I think that A. I'd just lose my mind and B. It would seem like yet another example of failure to me. If I moved or sold the car though I could possibly be able to travel and see more of the world than I already have. I could do many other things as well I'm sure. But would that bring contentment?

Question - Does responsibility consistently grow or is it something that comes in waves throughout life. Peter made the point that I've been extremely responsible for most of my life so far, finishing school, never doing anything wrong etc., did I miss out on something by growing up to fast?

I got the Job! YAY! I'm no longer unemployed. So excited I've been dancing around my house all morning! Doesn't hurt that I just downloaded a ton of wicked new songs last night. So yes I'll be working as an inbound call rep. Not all that glamourous but after the 'glamourous' position I had last and the amount of shit that went with it I don't care! The company is classified as a 'hyper-growth' company is the owner of their niche and is growing. The position is full time and from what I can see the place is made up of people under 35. Everyday is casual day and the best part! It's located on Granville Island which I can easily bike to, and with gas at 99.9 I'm very happy to leave Blue in the garage. Very happy. Now going to go to the beach as it's a spectacular day in Vancouver yet again :)

YAY! I just got called back for a second interview with a company that I interviewed with yesterday. There goes the piercing idea... for today anyway. Made my weekend. Even if I don't get it the interview process with this company has been great for my self esteem!

Rock On Baby!

Ok, I think I'm starting to lose it. Lexi is going to go and get some piercings done this afternoon (don't ask) and she made the off-hand comment that maybe I should to. While of course I stated 'no way' as soon as she said it but then while I was at the gym the thought suddenly came to me 'Why not?!'. So for some reason I'm now considering if I want to get the top of my ear pierced. First I dye my hair red then I get a piercing? Who the hell am I and why am I doing these weird things all of the sudden? While of course as I'm working out I'm thinking these things to myself and I'm furiously trying to connect the dots.

What is it that I'm trying to change and will outward appearances do it or is it something deeper within myself? While of course it's something deeper within myself but what. Is putting another hole in my head really going to do anything or change anything. Will I enjoy it or feel mildly foolish about it like my hair. I think it's possibly the image that I've portrayed for so long that I'm trying to change but now what image is it that I should be portraying. This is the current question on my mind. Who know's maybe I'll get a piercing today...