Well I just got back from my second time attending the coming out of homosexuality group (for lack of a better name) that I decided to start attending. Quite honestly as the car got closer and closer to the church I wanted to turn around more and more. It really took a lot to go again this week. Last week was the introduction and when I left I called my Dad and said "What the fuck am I doing there? I don't belong there! These people are all LOSERS!" Reflecting upon this statement this week though I came to the realization that any one of those LOSERS could be me in a few or more years. The fact that I'm the youngest member of this group and that I'm a not so young 25 has initially made me slightly uncomfortable with this whole situation as well but now it just sort of gives me another insight. The gay world really does seem to be one dominated by youth and glamour. With my ever advancing age I believe that although this is one of the hardest times in life to try and get out of the gay lifestyle because the constant party's, sex, and fun do have a major appeal, better sooner than later. God is this going to be tough and I honestly still have doubts an fears about it. All I know is that since I have made this decision I feel as though a major load has been lifted off of me. I don't know where the future is going to take me or what the plan for my life is but I know which road it doesn't lie down anymore.