Day 1 finally over. Feeling very anxious and terrified that my resume is crap. Terrified of writing a cover letter. Everyone seems to have different ideas of what a resume should look like. Want to get the sucker completed ASAP so I can start distributing it. Feel like I should just dive right into the job search but really what does that mean and how is that accomplished without a proper resume. Well I think it's proper so now I'm just nit-picking it to death! Argh I hate my insecurity.

Got a phone call from the leader of the coming out of coming out group tonight. He said that they had missed me last week (after a counselling session with my counsellor on Wednesday where he asked me why I went if I didn't want to and I didn't have an answer for him so I decided not to go on Thursday) and wanted to know if the group was for me or not as I wasn't appearing very interested. I told him that I didn't think that it was and that I would happily return the book to him. So now I've been rejected once again. Ironically now that I'm an unemployed loser I may actually feel as though I would have belonged in that group (ohhh that was nasty).

For better of for worse I'm going to go home for Easter this coming weekend. I don't know if this is really the best place for me to go but I need to get out of here. I can't handle being here and all of the pressure that's going on right now. I feel as though I'm just out of the gate and life is trying to trip me and break my legs. I suppose the only thing that I have to cling to is that God is still arranging things for something bigger and better. I wish that was actually comforting.