What is it about the ocean that makes me slightly melancholic. As I wandered along the seawall path today drinking in the scent of the salty air and feeling the cool wind fly through my hair I felt a little down and alone. It was an almost enjoyable feeling though. I seem to relish it even though I dislike it. Does that make any sense?

I just got home from watching Oceans 12 with Jake. It seems that he is doing well and the outlook is that we will make it as friends which is great and makes me pretty happy. I don't regret the experiences of the past few weeks because I learned a lot about myself in them but that doesn't make them any easier.

I got an e-mail from Raphael's mother tonight telling me that she knows about my lifestyle and that she's ok with it. I'm happy to hear that but at the same time am wondering how in hell she found out. I'm sure I'll know soon. This throws the need to have a talk with my parents into a whole new light. Merry fricken Christmas.