Feeling emotionally vulnerable tonight. I got the mark back from S for the interview that I did on the Answer Man and was irritated to see that I only got 75%. I thought that I had done a very good interview but apparently I didn't put enough Visuals into it or take enough risk in it. What a friggin joke. If I wanted to learn to write like a journalist I would have taken journalism not business.

So after I got the e-mail from the teacher I felt like kind of a loser, especially after finding out that a number of people had done much better than I had even though I had edited their papers. I felt really hurt and started to really want to chocolate. This triggered a thought about a conversation I had in counseling (this week was the last session for a number of weeks, seems I'm sufficiently self-aware now to go it on my own for a while and see what happens) apparently whenever I am hurt I try and cover that pain by doing something. I used to just block it totally and deny that it existed or that whatever it was that hurt me mattered. Well I guess that I'm not doing that as much anymore because now I'm craving chocolate a lot. No apparent reason other than it's comforting. Of course it will make me fat so I'm trying to figure out a way of coping that doesn't turn into a compulsion of addiction. Personally I'm glad that I recognize this because it means that things are improving and that I may actually be learning.