Ah it's been an interesting couple of days. I just got off the phone with Dan. That relationship, if you could call it that, is done. The problem is that we're just in two different places in life. I'm relatively sad about it but at the same time I'm relieved because it just wasn't working. So that's the end of that.

In other news I've been able to get my cosmetic line selling. Took the counter from an average of $400 a day to well over a $1,000 a day in the last week. Since going to school I've been able to sell the stuff like crazy. Now that I've got it figured out I'm trying to teach my girls how to sell effectively. At this point they are doing well when I'm there but when I'm not it seems everything I teach them goes out the window. I need to teach them consistency.

I am sick again. Bloody cold just came back. I'm too run down. I think I need to go to bed.

Good Night.

I'M IN LOVE! With a skin care line. Turns out that Origins is the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. Everything in the line is fantastic. Now true I've just finished going to Origins school and I'm totally pumped up from the experience and all but I know the hype isn't just that in this case. I tried the Incredible Spreadible Ginger Body Scrub last night in the shower and almost didn't come out. I was completely blissed out. Amazing stuff. It's got dead sea salts, brown sugar, white sugar, olive oil, shea butter, and ginger in it and I swear your skin will never quite have felt as amazing. So anyone reading this who needs ideas for Christmas gifts... well you know how to get a hold of me!

In other news... I did a lady's makeup today! As part of this job I have to at least know what the hell I'm talking about when I'm on the selling floor. The teacher took one look at me after I had done the lady's eyes and said "You look absolutely frazzled!" Yeah, I think I knew that. What a stressful thing to do for someone who's never, ever, even thought about doing makeup.

Wow it's been a while since my last post. As usual I've been really busy. Last week was actually pretty non-discript in terms of the events that happend. I met the Origins Vendor on Friday, a Vendor is a representative of the company that is supposed to be helping us sell their merchandise, and she was kinda scary. By the time that she was finished at our store though I believe that I had charmed the hell out of her and she is thrilled that I've taken over the counter. Now I'm just working on my staff. I have four girls working for me and for the most part they are all great. They have the enthusiasim and willingness to do what it takes to sell the product but they lack the actual selling skills to close sales, book apointments, and other basic selling tools. I'm working with them trying to teach them how to become star salespeople. In order to do that I have to work on my own selling skills as well. Once I get the product knowledge down I'll be fine. I realized this the other day when two ladies asked me the difference between two different eye creams in our line and I didn't have any idea what the difference was or what an eye cream is used for. This is just an example of the types of difficult questions I face on a daily basis that leave me scrambeling for answers and forcing me to upgrade my product knowledge by reading the box in front of the customer.

Saturday night this week was a disaster. Intending to drink a little and stay home I bought a 2-6 of vodka mandarin (never, ever, ever again!). I walked in the door of the house to have Lexi inform me that we were going out to Celebrities, Vancouver's biggest and best gay club. Not wanting to argue I agreed that, that sounded fine. In the course of the evening I proceeded to drink more than I have ever drank and well frankly I don't remember much of the evening. Defeinetely not an experience I want to repeat.

I now consider myself an official Vancouverite! I just spent the day at my very first film shoot as an extra. The show is called Two for the money and stars matthew McConnehey and Al Pachino. We saw Matt but no Pacino. The temperature in BC place where they were filming was sub-zero though thought I was going to die of cold.

Well change continues to run rampant in my life. Especially my work life. Finally realizing the relationship between my mentor and I wasn't likely going to get better anytime soon and that it wasn't doing either of us, or the department, any favours the store executives wisely decided to move me to another department with a new mentor. So of course the natural choice to send me was... wait for it... Cosmetics! Yeah that's right I'm now the Counter Manager of Origins (www.origins.com in case anyone is interested). This is going to be a big challenge but I think that it'll be a less stressful one than Jewellery. So I'm experiencing a really steep learning curve again and this one is harder to BS about. Selling a watch is nothing, you can make up all sorts of stuff to say about a watch. Selling a body souffle is a little tougher as you actually have to know a bit about it before you can sell it. The fact that the line is so large and every different product segment has a different specific use doesn't make it easier. Luckily *insert sarcastic tone* I'm going to beauty school for two days next week so I'll be sure to learn tons of stuff. In fact I think that my biggest challenge in this department is going to be getting the Associates to be motivated to sell. Of the four that report to me three seem to have really good potential and the other is already on probation with me. We'll see what happens with her.

Yesterday Lexi and I had a great time shopping at Metrotown. I have vowed that I will stop spending money frivolously as I really feel I need to get control of my finances. So far this week I have done very well. Because of this decision though I wasn't able to shop for anything for myself. I helped Lexi pick a few new things but other than that just enjoyed hanging out with her for the day. It's funny actually we're room mates but we really rarely see each other. I think that's probably why we do get along so well when we do see each other.

In other news I finally went to a gay club a couple of nights ago. Let's just say that it was not what I'd envisioned in my head. Not nearly that good. That and the fact that I was practically molested on the dance floor somewhat turned me off of the experience... well with that particular place anyway. Like most clubs I have decided that gay clubs are best experienced drunk... very, very drunk. Next time...

So I finally saw Dan last night after a very long time. The last time I saw him was when we went to the Art Gallery a couple weeks back. I don't know if this 'relationship' is going to go much further than it already has. I'm finding it tough to stay interested when I don't see him more than once a week and talking on the phone every night just isn't doing the trick. Stay tuned for more.

Mood - Slightly Despondent
Music - Sarah McLaughlin Afterglow

I have just lived through what was possibly the most horrific day of my life.

One more day! I can do it. You never really realize how much you can't handle being at home with those you love until your there. Aiyeee! Not that my visit has been bad but man...! Today my Mother and I got into a heated discussion about why I wasn't bothering to look for a church in Vancouver. The conversation ranged all over the place and ended when I left the room. Essentially she was telling me that unless I met people in church I would never have friends who would be there for me when I really needed them. Of course I countered by asking how many "real" friends she had in the church, that she hadn't just met... you know real friends that have been around for a long time. She didn't like the answer. After I left the room she actually came and told me that she was sorry that she had upset me! This is a new turn of events.

Shortly after the previously mentioned events Mom decided that I should come with her to find picture frames for my grad pictures and degree. Not thinking I said sure. Two and a half hours and five stores later we were back in the very first store that we'd looked in buying the ones that she'd picked out while there on the first visit. I just wanted to die.

I have been using my free time wisely while here though. As I don't have a burner on my computer I've been downloading and burning like a fiend *if anyone with the intention of sueing me because of the last statement is reading this know this. This whole blog is a lie!*. Managed to find a lot of songs.

Needless to say I cannot wait to get back home. I have accomplished what I hoped I would with this visit... ensuring that nothing has changed all that much. It hasn't!

Tomorrow I'm going for breakfast with my Uncle, which is sure to be one big bitch fest about how he finds my Mother anoying. Guess what! We all do! now get over it! Then I'm going for blunch with my Dad. I hope that it goes well. Till then, have a good night!

I just got home from spending a really enjoyable time with Peter. We discussed many things. Seems he has a new man in his life as well. He's looking to make some big changes in his life and I support him 100%. It's about time that he did this. Walking into the house, after I got back, I was talking to my Mom, who's never met Peter, and she was asking all the regular questions. How do you know him etc. Then she hit me with one I'd never had before. "What do you two have in common?" Umm...! Just stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving! Well I'm back in Vernon. Just finished cleaning up from a fantastic turkey dinner and seeing a bunch of people. The past few days have pretty much been a roller coaster, as usual, and have been really busy. Friday at work I had yet another blow out with my Mentor. You'd think that after three times he'd get the picture that he isn't going to win. This time he actually got pulled into our Manager's office for an hour long lecture. Hate to say it but he had it coming. So after a somewhat nasty day at work I went to a dinner party that I was invited to by one of the other Sales Managers. Turns out she had invited the Executive team from the store and me. Pretty cool actually as it shows that I'm fitting in really well with the people who's opinions actually matter. I got home relatively early from that as I was supposed to see Dan but we weren't able to get together.

The next morning I got up and drove to Penticton for what I thought was going to be a fun time at the wine festival with Janet. Unfortunately the evening with Janet didn't go so well. I think that her expectations and our's just didn't really match up. I did have a fantastic time with Tim and Lisa though so all was not lost. This morning Janet left really early and very quickly because she was really mad at us. We did get everything straightened out though tonight and she came over for turkey with the fam.

I'm now sitting here wondering how on earth I'm going to be able to spend the next few days at home with Mom and Dad. I really want to be able to take this time and do as little as possible and rest up but there are so many people that want to see me that I'm not sure how that's going to look. Oh well sucks to be wanted! I'm going to bed now so I can move tomorrow. So tired.

YAY! The day has finally arrived! I'm going to Penticton to attend the Wine Festival! So, so, so excited. Janet is excited too. She called me last night and gave me hell for being out because I am supposed to be saving my energy for her and tonight! Can't wait!!! Oh just so everyone knows it's also another VERY important day today! It's Rapheal's BIRTHDAY! Happy Birthday Raph!

What kind of a moron engineer decided to spring load the door to a fucking oven! Picture this. Keith get's home after a lovely date with Dan at the Vancouver Art Gallery where there was an awesome exhibit of Emily Carr's works. Keith decides upon returning home that he wants Pizza. As he is getting ready to place the Pizza into the oven the door to the oven snaps back knockiing the Pizza. The Pizza falls onto the door and scatters a myriad of toppings both all over the floor as well as the bottom of the oven, where of course they catch fire! Now Keith is sitting in the apartment waiting for the Pizza to be ready while he smells burning olives. He actually had to go over and blow out the flaming olives that were on the bottom of the oven. Oh and Dan had to go home early tonight and I won't likely see him for over a week as I'm heading home Saturday until Thursday. So frusterated. Want Pizza.

The weather has turned. Yesterday morning I awoke to a grey day which by the time I was driving home had turned into a torrential downpour. I believe the weather has had an effect on me. I am so tired now that it's hard to comprehend. My mood has been on a steady decline as well in the past few days. I'm feeling more melancholic and slightly depressed as well. I believe that stress may be causing this but I also think there may be a little more at play. I hope to get things figured out really soon though. I'm glad that I'm heading home this weekend. With all of the change that I've gone through in the past month it'll be really good to go home and see that things really havn't changed all that much in the grand scheme of things

Tomorrow Dan and I have planned a date to the Vancouver Art Gallery. I'm looking forward to going as there is currently an exhibit by Emily Carr that I believe will be really good. I am a big fan of Emily Carr and her work. I'm also really looking forward to seeing Dan again. Talking on the phone just isn't enough.

Today it was brought to my attention again that I am coming across as arrogant and cocky. Damn it I hate that about me. I have no intention of coming across that way and personally can't stand people that do... Maybe I just can't handle the reflection of myself. I seriously need to figure out how to change the things that I am doing that lead to people interpreting me this way. Fore-front of mind from now on is where I need to keep this so that I can begin to make some changes. I wonder if there are any books on how to change peoples perceptions.

Talking to my parents I'm not sure what's going on for Thanksgiving. Janet has invited herself over for dinner at least one of the nights that I'm home though so I'm happy. I miss that girl tons. Can't wait to see her this weekend. I'm also glad to hear that my Sister is going to be home for a while. Unfortunately the way the schedules work though it sounds like I may only see her for a couple of hours before she leaves. Hopefully I'll be able to see her for a bit though.

The weather here has been absolutely stunning for well over a week now. Today is no exception. What am I doing with this amazing weather though? Well today Lexi and I walked up the hill to have breakfast at Sophie's (one of my new favorite restaurants for breakfast) and then we stumbled home and both of us went to our respective beds. Totally exhausted from the festivities of last night. After planning it for weeks we finally made it out of the apartment on a Saturday night! Instead of staying at our Apartment we made our way across the bridge into Yaletown and went to Marcie's apartment! Oh did I mention that the three of us (me, Lexi & her friend from Kelowna) were already hammered by the time we hit the door to wait for our cab to take us to Marcie's. By 8 everyone at Marcie's was dancing in the living room. Of course the original intention was to dance at the bar but... Whatever. So after a good while of dancing at the house we finally ended up hittin the street and going to Skybar. I'd love to say that Skybar was an amazing place and that the decor was incredible and everyone was beautiful but I honestly don't remember. Our group danced the night away though and I do remember the music was excellent. Actually I'm still feeling the effects of the dancing today. Everything is sore.

The partying really has to come to an end though. It's starting to get both WAY to expensive and I just need to start doing other things. One more weekend and then I'm wrapping it up. Of course this weekend is going to be a total gong show. It's the Penticton Grand Finale Consumer Wine Tasting for the Okanagan Valley Wine Festival! That and we're going to be celebrating Janet's birthday. Wow is it gonna be a time!

In other news Sister has been having a very traumatic time in Calgary. Our cousin that she was living with turned out to be a total little bastard. He spontaneously decided one night that he no longer wanted a room-mate and told her to move out. Just like that! Then he left to go back home to his Mommy and Daddy's house for the weekend. Didn't talk to her or anything. Thankfully she was able to call some of the other relatives we have in town and they got her moved into one of my Great Aunt and Uncles houses. The little shit head will be pretty surprised when he comes home and finds that she's gone. Serves him right. Just thinking about this makes me want to get violent.

Moving on.

I have the best room-mate in the world. Her friend told us this morning that we sound like a married couple.

Dan and I have been getting a little closer lately and we've moved to a place that is a little more than seeing each other. I'm still not completely sure where that is but it's someplace new anyway.

I've caught a cold. I'm not thrilled with the idea but that's what's happend. Starting tomorrow I have two days off. Thank God! So tired.

Ok, Janet has informed me that my blog has been making me sound like I'm miserable lately. I'm so sorry that's totally not the message I should be conveying. I'm seriously very, very happy here. True I have been having a bit of a tough time at work lately but I actually found out that it's because the guy who was assigned to be my mentor is a fucking ass hole who is threatened by me. I have talked to my coach, who happens to be his boss, and things are going to change in the store. I think that most of the problem seems to be that I view him as a resource for help when I need it. He seems to view me as an extra peon that he can boss around. Funny enough though cause I actually have a higher position than he does in the store and I'm obviously smarter than he is. Ok I'm done now, that's all I'm going to write about my job right now.

I just got home from a date with Dan. I really seriously like this guy and he seems to seriously like me too. Funny thing happened tonight. As we were walking downtown it seems that Dan is scared of homeless people (don't ask). So we're walking up the street and we go to pass this homeless guy and he gets a little to close to Dan so he grabs my hand. I of course start talking to the homeless guy and say "How are you doing?" He answers "well my foot hurts." To which I answer "Oh, that's too bad" and carry on because I assume the conversation is over. Assumed wrong. Homeless dude laughs at us and yells down the street "when are you to gonna get married?" To which I reply "not for a long time." So of course homeless dude yells at the top of his lungs "WELL NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE!" OMG how hysterical is that? I was just killing myself laughing. So damned funny. I told Dan later that I should have told him that we're not going to get married because we don't believe in inter-racial marriages (Dan's East Indian)! Either way this was a great end to a great evening.

I'm drunk. Very rough day. Very drunlk

GFoood night.

Just got home from dropping Dan off. He came out for dinner tonight with Lexi and I, then we came back to our place for Martini's. Marcie of course came over and we had a fantastic time. Dan and I left the girls and went up to check out the view from our roof top patio which he was completely sure was awesome. Earlier when we were on our way to pick up Marcie he had asked if we could go to the beach again so after the patio we went down to Kit's beach. The evening was excellent and I will be seeing more of Dan. Tomorrow it's off to Marcie's for dinner. I hope she makes her amazing salad!

Wow last night's post was dramatic. Sorry about that, but thanks to Stuffy and Raph for writing in their support. I got to the store this morning and was excited to be there. I love what I'm doing as much as there are some aspects of it that I don't like there are more things that I like than anything else. I'm actually glad that I started to think about the things I thought about last night though. Having these thoughts early into this stuff actually really helps. I really am starting to understand that I've got to put the time in now. Actually this isn't a big deal because what the hell do I have to do otherwise?

Today was Marcie and I's very first Pilates class. All I can say is I'm not so sure about this Pilates stuff. It's very hard work which was a bit of a surprise honestly but it was actually fairly enjoyable. I realized that if I was doing it a couple of times a week that my abs would be amazing! Too bad it's so bloody expensive as well the fact that I don't have time to do anymore classes. A good experience anyway.

Tomorrow Dan, Lexi and I are going out for dinner and then watching a movie at our place. It should be a good time.

Oh, oh, oh I bought a vacuum cleaner tonight! How exciting is that! How lame am I for being excited about that! It doesn't matter, now Lexi will stop being irritated by the fact that we don't have a vacuum cleaner. I bought a 12amp Panasonic bagless. Of course it was on sale, with a $20 mail in rebate and my company discount on top of all that so I got a great deal! How exciting a vacuum that really sucks. OMG I'm getting way to old if I'm excited about a vacuum.

Well I had a reality check today that wasn't too pleasant. It has become glaringly apparent that I am going to have to start spending more than the current 9.5 hours a day at work from now on. The work load in my department along with the extra courses that are expected of me as well as the extra responsibilities that are expected are not going to happen if I leave when I'm "supposed" to everyday. I'm seriously thinking tonight about whether this company really is the place for me. If the company expects me to work that much for so little pay then why in hell don't I just quit and go start my own company. The potential that this is all just part of a learning curve is foremost in my mind as well but I'm not sure if the situation will ever change. Argh! I'm just so frustrated with things right now. If this is really what life is supposed to be all about then I'm not sure that I like it all that much.

I love going into the store everyday and I enjoy the work that I'm doing for the most part but at the same time I desire a level of balance between the two that I'm not really sure exists. It's entirely plausible that for the rest of the training program I'll be working my ass off and that as soon as the program is done I'll continue doing that. It's really a good thing that I don't have a family or anything because I don't know how people with families do this. Balance... how to achieve balance. That is the question of the evening.

After Lexi practically tossed me out of the apartment tonight saying "Get off the computer and go hang out with him!" I ended up spending an interesting evening discussing the validity of Theology as an Academic study along with numerous other topics with new boy (I'll call him The Russian). And here I thought I wouldn't be talking about Christian Theology much anymore since I left Prairie... guess I was wrong. In fact the whole conversation was odd and I kept thinking to myself "What the hell!" Ironic that I finally make a more visible break from the church and then I end up defending Christian Theological concepts in a 24 hour Vegetarian restaurant till 1 in the morning with my gay date.

So yes in the past week I have managed to meet and date two new guys. Both are very nice and both have interesting qualities. The Russian is very cerebral and likes to prove to that he's right. At one point tonight I stopped him just for clarification on his thought process. "Do you actually think that I'm that dumb that you need to break everything down into rudimentary concepts?!" I asked him. After which he apologized and said no that wasn't his intention. I thanked him and assured him that I was in fact not that dumb then proceeded to deconstruct him on a personal level. I was actually really quite fascinated that he would allow me to go where I did tonight in the level of deconstructing his mind.

He told me that he had, had a very good time because he wasn't used to having someone to talk to that could debate and discuss topics with at a higher level. Well I don't really know how high that level actually was but... whatever. Actually I rather enjoyed the evening as well as I was reminded of many evenings with Raphael where we would sit, drink tea and discuss.

Both of my dates in the past two days have gone well but I heard the exact same comment from both gentlemen. "You have a wall around you!" The Russian actually went as far as to say it was almost physical. "You don't let people get close to you, do you" he asked. It's really weird because tonight I think that I was actually conciously building that wall and I'm not even sure why. I must be afraid of getting to close to these people. Perhaps if I let that wall down I might fall in love (what a horrifying thought). Perhaps why I build that wall is because I don't want to get mentally and emotionally taken for a ride. I'm going to have to think on this.

I do seem to be making friends easily right now though. Both guys seem to enjoy being in my company and suggest new things to do a lot. One (who I've just decided to call Dan) calls me everyday just to chat. Actually Saturday night is was almost annoying after the 8th time he called me. Apparently he thinks of me when drunk... how flattering.

I have to laugh at Lexi the girl is getting more pushy everyday on how I should be interacting with the boi's. I gotta love her. Tonight I made her eat shrimp for the first time and I think she has to admit that it wasn't all that bad! Don't you Lexi?!

Today is my day off. So far I am making good use of it by sleeping in, enjoying a leisurely shower, and will soon be putting in a load of wash before I go and do a small big of shopping for some groceries and such. As one of my new friends would say it's going to be a very chill day.